Below is an actual genuine email shared anonymously with Dealbreaker.
In it, a young tenant lets her management company know that she is sick and tired of having to pay her rent (a subtle and lovely allegory to rent as blood money is actually made) in the same way that her stupid, hidebound parents once did. She believes that the olds referred to it as a "checking account"?
You can feel her shudder through the text.
She takes a number of paragraphs to let this company know - in the most condescending way possible - that she is done paying them for housing with "checks" (ewww) and need to get their sh!t together.
She even writes this sentence out, and shares it; "This is because I am a millennial and I plan on circumventing the obsolete ways of my parents for the rest of my life."
We believe that one day, this example of Millennial-level chutzpah will be in the Smithsonian as part of an exhibit entitled "Millennial Money: How Children Killed American Banks."
Now, please enjoy:
From: [Redacted Millennial Tenant]
Date: March 13, 2016 at 11:36:33 AM EDT
To: [Redacted Property Management Company]
Subject: Future payment
Hi [Redacted Property Management Company]
[Redacted Roommate] has brought it to our attention that our first/last month rent is due for [Redacted Address]. Due to the fact that we will soon be paying you a relatively large sum of money every month, I need to bring something to your attention.
Writing you a check for rent every month is a completely archaic process that will cause extreme annoyance every month. I've had my own checking account for over 4 years and I do not have a check book. Neither do any of my roommates, besides [Redacted Roommate] . This is because I am a millennial and I plan on circumventing the obsolete ways of my parents for the rest of my life. The good news is that is completely unnecessary for us to do this.
At my current apartment we use a website called RentShare which charges each person $1.95 to directly wire money from our bank account to our landlord. Once every person pays the rent, the website sends a check directly to my landlord.
My current landlord, god bless his heart, also has made us aware of another platform to do this called Cozy, which doesn't charge the fee.
So, we have two options to bring this "rent paying process" into the 21st century. I would love for you to choose one that we can use so I can pay my rent from my laptop and not have to participate in the godforsaken process of having all of our friends try to transfer each other thousands of dollars and then write out a check. That's laughable. Instead, I'd rather just bleed my bank account directly into your account.
I appreciate that you will agree to this very logical and painless process, and bring [Redacted Property Management Company] into 2016 and out of the dark ages.
Here are the links for the two websites I just named:
If this turns out to be a viral marketing play for the two startups name-checked in the email, we are okay with it, because it is also a brilliant piece of inter-generational trolling.
If you have an exceptional Millennial email to share with us, do not hesitate to share it with email@example.com