Janet Yellen does nothing; Bitcoin is legit; "Taylor Swift's face etched in 12-acre corn maze"; and more.

Two senate dems want to curb activist activity; Bullard says rates should go up; Counteroffer tops Marriott bid for Starwood; Sex toy sparks bomb scare; and more.

Aubrey McClendon dead in car crash; Goldman to drop bid on Russian bond deal; Father of modern IPO retires; Farmer Uses Manure To Spell Out 'No Trump'; and more.

Icahn, Apple, Greece, The Woman Rocking The Hedge Fund World, "Burglar Gets Stuck In Air Vent Trying To Escape"; AND MORE.

$$$ Wells Fargo Banker, Two Others Indicted on Insider-Trading Charges [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America claims MBIA in default on senior notes [Reuters] $$$ The Queen of England seems to have had a fun tour of her Bank [Telegraph] $$$ DealBook Conference Was Impressive, Lucrative and Chummy, but it was no DBDRN [NYT] $$$ "Lloyd Blankfein … wears a suit that is notably baggy in its cut. The bagginess is unflattering. But it is a pinstripe suit, which is the Bat Signal of men of great influence, Wall Street's version of a rapper's Jacob the Jeweler medallion." [Gawker] $$$ Plot to castrate and kill Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden is foiled [NYP] $$$ How would you like to be a TIAA-CREF wealth management advisor in Fargo, ND? [DBCC] $$$ Obama’s Bet on GM Hangs on Revamped Silverado Pickup [Bloomberg] $$$ Hostess Said to Attract Bids From Wal-Mart, Kroger [Bloomberg] $$$ "But the decisions in the Argentine litigation do seem to go a long way toward transforming the pari passu clause from a rule of rank into a prohibition on preferences. And if this is right, is there any reason to think the holdings will be confined to the sovereign context?" [DealBook / Stephen Lubben] $$$ U. Chicago Receives Weird Mystery Package Addressed to Indiana Jones [NYO] $$$ "Afterward, the employees — chosen by lottery — nibbled on pigs in blankets and sushi rolls and met with Tyson Chandler of the New York Knicks. But one employee apparently was more interested in an autograph from his boss, coming up to ask Mr. Dimon to sign his ticket. The chief executive complied." [DealBook]

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]

$$$ Alcoa Swings to a Profit [WSJ] $$$ SAC Capital Said to Raise Portfolio Managers’ Bonuses [Bloomberg] $$$ Titan's taste for small funds seen behind its SAC exit [Reuters] $$$ Dimon Leaves New York Fed Board as His Term Ends [DealBook] $$$ What The Simpsons Taught Us About the Dangers of a Trillion-Dollar Platinum Coin [DI] $$$ An investment manager is looking for a senior portfolio analyst in Seattle [DBCC] $$$ Dealpolitik: How AIG Board Works Its Way Out of the Hot Seat [Deal Journal] $$$ Lawmakers Warn A.I.G. Not to Join Lawsuit Against U.S. [DealBook] $$$ Why AIG Suing America Isn't as Crazy as You Think [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Clearwire Receives $5.15 Billion Buyout Bid from Dish [WSJ] $$$ Oregon Man Arrested for Choking Girlfriend With His Own Dreadlocks [Gawker]

$$$ Spain's Recession to Linger as Austerity Bites [WSJ] $$$ Euro Bailout Bid Gets Vote Of No-Confidence [Bloomberg] $$$ As the Justice Department weighs the possibility of criminal charges in the unfolding Libor rate-setting scandal, it may want to consider the record of the Swiss banking giant UBS. At UBS, a series of immunity, nonprosecution and deferred prosecution agreements in recent years — evidently the government’s preferred approach to corporate crime — seems to have had scant, if any, deterrent effect. “It’s depressing,” Representative Peter Welch, Democrat of Vermont, a member of the House oversight committee, told me this week after we discussed UBS’s recent transgressions. “The Justice Department has to decide: Is the day of consent decrees and settlements, where you pay a fine, one passed on to shareholders, are those days over? Are the days of jail time here?” [NYT] $$$ Jamie Dimon Opens Wallet For JPMorgan Shares, Picks Up 500000‎ [Forbes] $$$ Someone stole hundreds of David Hasseloff life-sized cutouts [NYDN] $$$ Credit Suisse chair says board backs Dougan [Reuters] $$$ Ex-BofA Executive Indicted For Fraud In Municipal Bond Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ BMW ‘stolen’ from Hooters is found [WaPo]