Janet Yellen does nothing; Bitcoin is legit; "Taylor Swift's face etched in 12-acre corn maze"; and more.

Two senate dems want to curb activist activity; Bullard says rates should go up; Counteroffer tops Marriott bid for Starwood; Sex toy sparks bomb scare; and more.

Aubrey McClendon dead in car crash; Goldman to drop bid on Russian bond deal; Father of modern IPO retires; Farmer Uses Manure To Spell Out 'No Trump'; and more.

Goldman Sachs banker accused of rape going to trial in April; Time running out for Greece; "Man Posed As Cop To Cut Into Fast-Food Line"; and more.

$$$ Cyprus Plans Bank Restructuring to Save Rescue [WSJ] $$$ S&P Cuts Rating on Cyprus by One Notch to Triple-C [Reuters] $$$ Hedge funds storm back into form [FT] $$$ Lululemon Sheer Yoga Pants Undetected Until Bend-Over Test [Bloomberg] $$$ Former MSNBC Host Dylan Ratigan Quit New York To Work On Hydroponic Organic Farm [TPM] $$$ Once-obese Goldman analyst becomes fitness evangelical, gym CEO [Reuters] $$$ Southeastern had eyed joining Dell buyout group [Reuters] $$$ Gold Giants Shrink to Fit as Paulson Pushes Breakup [Bloomberg] $$$ "And there was this dichotomy, like dumb versus smart money. We're smart money; they're dumb money. We are so smart that we deserve their money. It was essentially kind of an entitlement. And it was really unattractive to me. I spent a lot of time at lunch trying to understand the mindset of, like, how does being good at math give us the right to do this?" [EconTalk] $$$ A Watermelon, a Golf Course, a Horse, and Monstrous Dogs: 12 New Paintings from George W. Bush [Gawker]

$$$ U.S. Banks See Strong Profit [WSJ] $$$ U.S. court says Argentina does not need to make $250 mln deposit [Reuters] $$$ Former Goldman Director Gupta to Stay Free Pending His Appeal [DealBook] $$$ Banks book record profits off Fannie and Freddie [Term Sheet, related] $$$ "The online brokerage of Bank of America Merrill Lynch rolled out something it is calling Face Retirement. ... Here’s how it works: It’s a website that takes your current image, using a web cam, and makes you old and decrepit — the kind of person who will need some cash socked away." [Deal Journal] $$$ "Prosecutors said there is no such thing as a $500 million Federal Reserve note" [UPI] $$$ The CME is looking for an executive director for equity index products [DBCC] $$$ Corporate bond "turnover has not collapsed 80 percent in the same way as dealer inventory, and in fact daily volumes are on a par with where they were in 2007." [Bond Vigilantes] $$$ CME Deliverable ‘Swap Futures’ See Comfortable Debut [MarketBeat] $$$ High Rollers Are Still Big Losers 18 Months After Online Poker's "Black Friday" [BuzzFeed, also MR: "Even if some of these sites were fraudulent, one wonders if the players would not have better off without government 'protection.'"] $$$ The "gentleman groper" is a lawyer, not a banker [ATL, earlier] $$$ "Can a dog be trained to drive a car? New Zealand's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals proved it could be done." [CBS, video!!!]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ Germany Takes Hard Line on Spanish Banks $$$ Wall Street pay: Headed up or down? [Unstructured Finance] $$$ Bank CEOs Fear the Fiscal Cliff They Apparently Don’t Understand [DI] $$$ Swaps Rule Sends Wall Street Into Clearing Limbo [Bloomberg] $$$ "One visitor recalls a family ritual: Every night at around 9:30 or 10:00, Mitt and Ann would meet at the foot of their staircase, clasp hands, and escort each other upstairs to the bedroom, in full view of their brood." [TNR] $$$ Tim Tebow Has Officially Trademarked Tebowing [Deadspin] $$$ A global investment bank is looking for a director for Financial Crime Compliance [DBCC] $$$ Cries of abuse grow with use of complex U.S. stock orders [Reuters] $$$ SocGen to Sell Its Greek Bank [WSJ] $$$ Happy birthday Fox Business! [TBN] $$$ "Why does the male nude get no respect?" [WSJ] $$$ The Psychic Friends Network Cannot Predict Its Future [Bloomberg View]