Write-Offs: 3.3.16

Gross says avoid bank stocks; World's no.2 currency trader expects dollar to surge; NY Woman caught driving with elaborate cardboard license plate; and more.

Author:

Dealbreaker

$$$Bill Gross: Avoid bank stocks in negative interest-rate world [Reuters]

$$$World's No. 2 Currency Trader Expects the Dollar to Surge [Bloomberg]

$$$Safety-First Fund Manager Beats 99% of Peers by Catching a Boom [Bloomberg]

$$$Yahoo exploring sale of $1 billion-$3 billion in 'non-core assets': CFO [Reuters]

$$$NY Woman caught driving with elaborate cardboard license plate [UPI]

$$$RBC targets market share gains in U.S. investment banking [Reuters]

$$$I see bubbles bursting everywhere: Top academic [CNBC]

$$$Los Angeles to open 'Museum of Broken Relationships' [UPI]

Write-Offs

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

Write-Offs

Warren Buffett is making you fat; Female exec pay is really, really bad; Munger mocks Greeks; Kraft/Heinz; Man puts cardboard cutout of Dos Equis guy in passenger seat so he can use carpool lane; and more.

Write-Offs

Greece; Puerto Rico; Currency market rigging; Yelp sale; "Leopard mauls guide’s arm during safari tour"; and more.

Write-Offs

NY Fed chief wants improved Wall Street culture; Brevan Howard cuts 50; Banks see rate rise in December; "World's fastest lawnmower reaches 133 mph in Norway"; and more.

Write-Offs

$$$ Cyprus Rejects Deposit Levy in Blow to European Bailout Plan [Bloomberg] $$$ Cyprus’s bad haircut day [Felix Salmon] $$$ Matt Yglesias's proposals for Cyprus include selling Northern Cyprus to Turkey and Ben Bernanke giving it a €5.8bn present [Slate] $$$ Florida Financier Charged in Facebook IPO Fraud [WSJ] $$$ Credit Suisse sacks around 12 from NY rates team [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Sachs’s Scialla Twins Leave for Home-Design Firm [Bloomberg] $$$ RBC is looking for a research associate to cover medical devices healthcare companies in New York [DBCC] $$$ Activist Fights Draw More Attention [WSJ] $$$ Ackman’s J.C. Penney Losses Signal Buyout Need [Bloomberg] $$$ NFL Teams With Private-Equity Firm to Seek Media, Tech Investments [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Probes Microsoft, Partners Over Bribery Claims [WSJ] $$$ Bigamist attorney, who secretly wed a stripper and got caught, suspended six months [NYDN]

Write-Offs

Pimco redemptions; Rate rise coming; "Woman, 110, drank three Miller High Lifes a day for 70 years"; and more.

Write-Offs

Vizium Asset Management under investigation; Tiger Global loses big; Florida woman charged with DUI after driving into Waffle House while not wearing pants; and more.

Write-Offs

Feds signal June increase is on the table; Wells Fargo cuts Valeant; Woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids, Police Say; and more.

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