Hedge fund shutterings; Wall Street sick of Chiptole; Elderly Woman Claims Neighbor Chanted 'ISIS Is Good, ISIS Is Great' During Sex; and more.

$$$ How Morgan Stanley sank to junk status [Reuters] $$$ Rosengren Says Renewing Operation Twist Would Spur Growth; in other news the 10-year hit 1.437% today [Bloomberg] $$$ Defiant Spain to test the bond market [FT] $$$ Egan-Jones cuts Italy to B+, says economy "miserable" [Reuters] $$$ Rajat Gupta’s Wealth in Spotlight at Trial [DealBook] $$$ Man Sentenced For Abandoning Teen Daughter Due to Her Poor Calculus Grade $$$ A highly regarded advisory firm is looking for a life sciences investment banking associate [DBCC] $$$ Bankruptcy Court Approves Dynegy Settlement With Creditors [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Oil Well Is Biggest Gusher In Company History [Bloomberg] $$$ A central-bank failure of epic proportions [Economist / Free Exchange] $$$ The National Review runs an article endorsing NGDP targeting [NR] $$$ Hockey Mom Madam wants bail reduced so she can care for her son

Warren unleashes on Trump; Larry Robbins tells investors to "just hang on"; Bill Gross sells stamps; Inside the world’s first sex-themed amusement park; and more.

$$$ Fed Sees Action if Growth Doesn't Pick Up Soon [WSJ] $$$ Greece will need more debt restructuring - EU officials [Reuters] $$$ Outlook Cut Could Stiffen Berlin's Opposition to Aid [Der Spiegel] $$$ Apple Falls Short Of Analysts’ Expectations Amid IPhone Slump [Bloomberg] $$$ Loeb Buys More Yahoo Shares for $39.5 Million [CNBC] $$$ Plane towing "Will You Marry Me?" banner crashes off RI [CBS] $$$ Nomura is looking for an operations associate in New York, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Bond Trading Loses Some Swagger Amid Upheaval [NYT] $$$ Bridgewater Sees ‘Dangerous Dynamic’ As Largest Economies Slow [Bloomberg] $$$ Google agrees EU antitrust deal outline [FT] $$$ 'Hockey mom madam's' partner files papers to have case dismissed [NYP] $$$ Sometimes one subway train leaves before the other subway train; other times, the other subway train leaves first [City Room]

Money going to Janus but not Bill Gross; Michael Lewis tries not to think about the markets too much; Warren Buffett likes America; Deutsche Bank CEOs take paycut; Dad shoots son, but not fatally, for finishing orange juice; and more.

$$$ Crédit Agricole Posts Record Loss After Greek Sale [WSJ] $$$ Dimon: America Still The Best There Is [CNBC] $$$ Regulators Postpone Some Basel Rules [DealBook] $$$ Jury Is Told Ex-UBS Trader Was Made a Scapegoat for Bank’s Woes [DealBook] $$$ U.S. judge insists Argentina must pay holdout creditors [Reuters] $$$ Charles Darwin Gets 4,000 Votes in Georgia Congressional Race [DI] $$$ The SEC is looking a financial economist in the Division of Risk, Strategy, and Financial Innovation, Office of Risk Assessment and Interactive Data in DC [DBCC] $$$ Exec Who Allegedly Enabled Fraud Runs Chase’s Effort to Compensate Foreclosure Victims [ProPublica] $$$ A Run on Groupon’s Shares as Growth Slows Again [DealBook] $$$ Judge: Kodak Didn’t Mislead Market By Keeping Mum on Bankruptcy Prep [Deal Journal] $$$ "The IMF, on the other hand, is an old hand at bailouts and has learned a lot of expensive lessons. It isn’t willing to throw money into Greece without an actual, credible plan, as opposed to the tissue of optimistic assumptions and politically conditioned forecasts that the EU habitually uses to disguise the true state of affairs from itself and the voters." [Via Meadia] $$$ A trip to outer space (that will "qualify you as an official astronaut") — for just $95,000 [MW]

Goldman says don't worry about a recession; Wells Fargo is pissed at the Fed; "Canadian Man Faces Jail Time for Smuggling Turtles in His Pants"; and more.

Pfizer to buy Allergan in big f*cking deal; Yellen tells Nader to piss off; Being ethical in Silicon Valley is hard; "Florida Man In Darth Vader Mask Robs Convenience Store"; and more.