Apparently the bonus crunch has moved well beyond Wall Street.
But as our politicians are so eager to remind us, it is the ingenuity of small business owners that power our potent economy. The owners of one Minnesota auto body repair shop know what we're talking about:
Staff at a Minnesota business were allegedly paid in methamphetamine, instead of money, for their bonuses.
Police claim employees of Clear Choice Auto Body Repair in Mankato each received half a gram of the illegal drug during a meeting on Tuesday night, reports local station KMSP-TV.
And before you stop whining like a junior banker at Morgan Stanley about the paltry sum being doled out, please remember that meth is a priced like a commodity...
It could be worth anything between $40 and $200 — depending on its purity, according to various anti-meth websites.
So, it's like Deutsche Bank stock!
Another thing that Clear Choice Auto Body Repair has going for it this bonus season is the close-knit manner in which they present bonuses.
The “bonuses” were allegedly doled out by Nancy Loehlein, 39, while her 40-year-old boyfriend Jesse Seifert — who owns the business — was present, according to a Minnesota River Valley Drug Task Force statement.
Clear Choice Auto Body Repair is a family business. Can you imagine Lisa Marie Falcone handing out bonus checks on the trading floor back in the day?
Actually, don't answer that...
But because, as Bernie Sanders has told us over and over, America doesn't care about the little guy anymore and the owners of Clear Choice Auto Body Repair are under arrest.