CEO Holograms Are A Thing Now

James Gorman can finally fulfill his dream of being more like Tupac.
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For many moons, the physical presence of a CEO has elicited a moment of fear and excitement in the hearts and minds of rank and file employees.

DarthGreenberg

Having the boss in front of you can make the brain short-circuit as it attempts to process what to say. Should said employee grovel or try to impress? Will this interaction end in promotion or termination?

It's a big deal, and rare because CEOs are only men, not omnipresent beings beaming to and fro in the universe. Until now...

Busy globe-trotting CEOs often complain they can't be in two places at one time. But last week, Accenture CEO Pierre Nanterme was -- at least digitally.
On Monday, Nanterme went to an Accenture broadcast studio in Paris, where he is based, and in a moment that seems more Star Wars than C-suite, had his image beamed to suburban Chicago, where 500 of the company's top executives were meeting. At the same time, the professional services firm's human resources chief, Ellyn Shook, was beamed in from New York, and the resulting three-dimensional "holograms" of the two executives chatted with each other about things like the company's new performance reviews and recent acquisitions, while answering questions from the audience.

How exciting for those employees! Their bosses are no longer constrained to the corporeal realm, free to apparate, interact and observe without warning.

Awesome!

Can you imagine a future in which a Jamie Dimon hologram can just materialize behind a junior trader with his eyes trained anywhere else but his Bloomberg Terminal? He's going to have quite the coronary when Jamie's holo-voice asks him "Hey! You using that or what?!?!"

Or picture a Bank of America board meeting, waiting for Brian Moynihan to show and growing increasingly perturbed. Suddenly, a shimmering Moynigram appears in the CEO chair. "Not today, jerks," he giggles. "Not today."

And this technology could make it so - a la Tupac - a CEO never really goes away.

Somewhere, AIG CEO Peter Hancock is living a waking nightmare that some day in the very near future, a strange feeling will grab him as he sits at his desk. Turning slightly, he will see the dreaded glow. After taking a deep breath, he will take in the full effect of what lies before him. The hologram of a man holding a small white dog smirks and a cackle fills the room.

"Hello Hancock," says Hologram Hank Greenberg. "I'm baaaaaack."

‘Star Wars’ meets the C-suite: This CEO’s hologram is beaming into meetings [WaPo]

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Bloomberg: Not One Bank CEO Can Fill Jamie Dimon's Shoes, Especially Not That Guy From Australia Who Doesn't Own An Iron

Earlier today, Bloomberg ran a lengthy piece about the latest crisis on Wall Street: a lack of Jamie Dimon. Specifically, a lack of Jamie Dimon telling meddlesome regulators, anti-industry populists, know-nothing Congressmen, and hypocrite bastard newspapers where they can go and what they can suck. True, it's not as though he's gone anywhere, and he's still reminding people "it's a free fucking country" but "juggling multiple investigations and a $5.8 billion trading loss on wrong-way bets on credit derivatives" has left his hands a little tied and, some believe, cost him his once untouchable "stature" in the industry. And while one should never simply offer problems without solutions, Bloomberg isn't gonna sugarcoat this one: when it comes to "any kind of credible statesmen" to step in for JD, Wall Street is shit out of luck and not just because no one besides Lloyd came close in sales of their respective Bankers At Work And Play pin-up calendars. Among current CEO's, Lloyd Blankfein, Brian Moynihan and Vikram Pandit are deemed too busy "fixing their own firms or repairing their reputations," while Wells Fargo chief John Stumpf, though respected among his peers, is ruled out due to geography (“Part of Jamie’s fitting into that role was his natural brashness as a Wall Streeter and New Yorker, and that is not John"). But hey, what about that James Gorman guy? Runs Morgan Stanley, is based in New York, has been known to put a foot up an ass when necessary? Don't even get Bloomberg started. James Gorman, 54...doesn’t fit the Wall Street titan stereotype. The Australian prefers a rumpled tuxedo he bought as a business school student in 1980 to Armani for black- tie events, and he stocks Vegemite in the executive kitchen. Or maybe perhaps all that makes him perfect for the gig? The way we see it, Jim Gorman doesn't have the time or patience for fancy extras like unwrinkled suits and burgers made from foie gras-fed cows. All he cares about is not taking shit, or prisoners. Someone asks him, "What is this Vegemite stuff," he knocks their two front teeth out. You suggest maybe he could have ironed his shirt before that gala, he takes out that iron and smashes you in the face with it. You want a worthy successor for the job, you've got him. Wall Street Leaderless In Rules Fight As Dimon Diminished [Bloomberg]