For months now, Silicon Valley has been enjoying the visual treat of a purple roller coaster buckling under the weight of its own failure, running at unsafe speeds in crazy loops under the control of blond lady with no discernible idea about how to operate machinery.
But it looks like things are finally looking up for Marissa "Evita Breadsticks" Mayer and what's left of Yahoo... Maybe...
Verizon Communications Inc. plans to make a first-round bid for Yahoo Inc.’s Web business next week, and is willing to acquire the company’s Yahoo Japan Corp. stake to help sweeten the offer, according to people familiar with the matter.
Google, the main division of Alphabet Inc., is also considering bidding for Yahoo’s core business, a separate person said.
Verizon and Google want to buy Yahoo? That's awesome!
Perhaps Marissa's dream team of bankers with conflicting interests got Verizon and Google to overlook all the mishegoss surrounding Yahoo's broken media business and that report from Kara Swisher indicating revenues in the Purple Kingdom are dropping like a lead zeppelin.
Or, maybe Verizon and Google heard about that other report that said Yahoo was sitting on billions in patents.
Regardless, Yahoo's surging stock price indicates that there's something of a pulse over at Yahoo even if we're more confused than ever as to what the company is actually, like, worth.
And we can also keep scratching our heads as to why Google would be interested considering Auntie Ruth Porat has lashed the purse strings down pretty tight over in Mountain View and it would be hard to imagine that she'd be psyched to shell out big money for a failing search engine/advertising property with an email business attached.
Which makes you wonder how a rumor like this would get started if Verizon has for so long been considered the perfect fit to save Yahoo... Ohhhh, nice rumormongering, Mayer confidante Frank Quattrone.
Nicely done indeed.