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It's Easy To Achieve A 650% Return When You Add A Dash Of "Behavior That Raises Serious Questions About Ethics, Morals, And A Host Of Other Risks"

Meet Platinum Partners!
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Perhaps not entirely surprisingly, some people are a little skittish about the place.

A Reuters review of Platinum’s investments, interviews with hedge fund investors familiar with the firm, as well as former employees, clients and associates, and a review of marketing and other documents show that Platinum has a history of investing in controversial businesses….

“Investors looking beyond the impressive headline returns will find a pattern of behavior that raises serious questions about ethics, morals, and a host of other risks an investor must take to achieve those returns,” said Ted Seides, the recently departed co-founder of hedge fund investment firm Protégé Partners.

Oh, but those returns! Platinum’s Value Arbitrage Fund is up 650% since its debut in 2003 and has never had a losing year. And how? Here’s a can’t-miss strategy:

  • lend to scandal-plagued energy companies at usurious rates, take them over and flip them when scandals bring about the inevitable collapse;
  • lend to companies who charge even more usurious rates for slightly lower usurious rates;
  • take out long-term variable annuities on the dying without their knowledge, laugh all the way to the bank after the funeral;
  • maintain plausible deniability.

We’re sure there’s more to it but that’s a pretty good start.

The person familiar with Platinum’s thinking said the firm was aggressive with its investments, but always within the limits of the law.

The top-performing hedge fund manager that’s too hot for big money to handle [Reuters]


By EncMstr (Own work) [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Judge Now Cool With Taking Allegedly Ethically Challenged Hedge Fund At Its Word

Platinum Partners lawyer would like her honor to know that his client has some him.

Rob Lavinsky, – CC-BY-SA-3.0 [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Hedge Fund Never Wanted $20 Million Investment It (Allegedly) Bribed Someone To Get

Platinum Partners would really like to disassociate itself with certain investors right now.

This would be a start. By The original uploader was Hephaestos at English Wikipedia (Transferred from en.wikipedia to Commons.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Platinum Partners Not Exactly Making Friends In High Places

New York State not waiting for Platinum's prayers to be answered.

(Rob Lavinsky/ via Wikimedia Commons)

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Rule number one of running a hedge fund like a Ponzi scheme: Don't.

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Even the deBlasio administration would like you to keep the class in NYC graft.