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Vladimir Putin Sorry He Said Newspaper Was Tentacle Of A Certain Vampire Squid

Vlad's bad.
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The would-be czar who is making Russia great again has, for possibly the first time in his life, issued an apology. For what, you might ask? Well, for accusing Goldman Sachs of a terrible crime: owning a newspaper. Now, everyone knows Lloyd Blankfein & co. would never countenance getting into such a terrible business as running a newspaper, even if their CIA overlords asked them to so as to better embarrass Russia by publishing the Panama Papers in a Munich broadsheet. I mean, the CIA can just as easily pretend to be a “Munich publishing family” and “German media group” on its own, with assistance from the elect.

“We apologize to this publication,” Dmitry S. Peskov, the president’s press secretary, said Friday, according to the Interfax news agency — a rare step of contrition for the Kremlin. An aide had provided Mr. Putin with incorrect information during his annual “Direct Line” call-in show, Mr. Peskov said.

Kremlin Apologizes to German Newspaper for Wrongly Tying It to Goldman Sachs [NYT]


Shouldn't even be looking at this logo.

Vampire Squid Proving Downright Maternal

With paid bereavement leave and six-week sabbaticals, you can just call it Goldman Snowflake.