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We Need To Talk About Apple

What more do you WANT?!?!

This company is the world's largest consumer electronics concern with products in the homes and on the bodies of people everywhere.

It has a top 3 global market cap, and it made about $233 billion last year alone.

In the first quarter of this year it pulled down $50.6 billion in revenue and reported a cash balance well over $200 billion.

Its stock looks like this:

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 5.05.48 PM

Meanwhile, Etsy's stock looks like this:

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 5.14.09 PM

You people are monsters.


We Need To Talk About Etsy

The first step in Etsy recovery is admitting that you have an Etsy problem.

Stock Plummets After Wall Street Realizes Etsy Has Failed To Make A Profit, Like Ever

What, no one believes in the market power of homemade macrame lingerie anymore?!?!


An Apple Product A Year Keeps The Recession Away

We're learning a very important lesson today.


Apple Refuses To Be Victimized By Grandest Ego-Trip In Danish History

Tim Cook does not think Margrethe Vestager is the "Dane of the Year."