BlackRock downgrades outlook on U.S. assets; Argentina is back in the international bond markets; Moms spend thousands on cosmetic surgery to get Coachella-ready; and more.

$$$ Geithner: Ready to Go Over 'Cliff' If Taxes Don't Rise [CNBC] $$$ Republicans weigh swallowing tax hike on the wealthy [Reuters] $$$ SEC's Top Markets Official to Leave [WSJ] $$$ Wells Fargo Banker Sued by SEC in Probe of Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Paulson Says Real-Estate Fund Performing Well [WSJ] $$$ John McAfee Seeks Asylum, Thanks God for 'Sanity' [ABC] $$$ A Chicago-based proprietary trading firm is looking to hire a quantitative futures analyst/trader [DBCC] $$$ Facebook To Join QQQ’s Index Dec. 12 [IndexUniverse] $$$ Nasdaq attorney calls on SEC to review proxy rules [Reuters] $$$ Europe bond market set for holdout reform [FT] $$$ Will Citi's Massive Layoffs Be Enough? [CNBC] $$$ Man Shoots Girlfriend in the Back for Not Taking the Possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse Seriously [Gawker]

$$$ Slow U.S. Hiring May Spur Fed [WSJ] $$$ Germany faces ECB backlash [FT] $$$ Dealer inventories of corporate bonds are at a ten-year low [FTAV] $$$ New York AG Eric Schneiderman's investigation into whether private equity firms illegally converted ordinary income into capital gains is complicated by the fact that ordinary income and capital gains are taxed at the same rate in New York [Reuters] $$$ "From 1971 to the present, money market funds without defaulted securities would have a shadow NAV below 0.995 15.4% of the time" due to interest rate movements [Aleph Blog] $$$ Wells Fargo broke into a house, took all the owners' stuff, destroyed it, found out that it was the wrong house [CBS] $$$ Peregrine Financial is missing its SpongeBob SquarePants silver coins [NYO] $$$ Citi is looking for an audit manager - mortgages in New York [DBCC] $$$ "Xstrata is indicating it thinks that retaining its management in the top positions may be worth more than that $4.5 billion. Now that is a valuable management." [WSJ / Dealpolitik] $$$ ICP Asset Management paid $23 million to settle its SEC suit over mismanaging its CDOs [SEC] $$$ Jim O'Neill hits out at 'weird world of benchmarking [Citywire] $$$ Rajaratnam's insider-trading appeal set for Oct. 25 [Reuters] $$$ World's Best Internship—Interviewing Porn Stars [CNBC] $$$ Restaurant Owner Creates Fake Sex Site Profile for Patron Who Posted Negative Review Online [Gawker]

$$$ European Union Proposes Central Banking Regulator [NYT] $$$ Spain says markets closing on it, seeks help for banks [Reuters] $$$ Ken Lewis's script to tell John Thain he was worried about Merrill's losses [Deal Journal] $$$ Using Confidential Information in a Hostile Offer [Harvard Law] $$$ Mitt Romney Surprised That Tall Man ‘Wasn’t in Sport’ [DI] $$$ Alpine Woods Capital Investors is looking for an experienced equity income Associate Portfolio Manager/Analyst in Westchester [DBCC] $$$ Hedge Funds Failing To Deliver Taxes To Connecticut [Bloomberg] $$$ Have a Bad Boss? Treat Him Like a Toddler [CNBC] $$$ Thomas H. Lee to Take Control of Party City [WSJ] $$$ Lax bros. Lax bros. [Boston Globe]

Greece; Fake Bloomberg; "Donald Trump Immortalized As Butt Plug"; and more.

$$$ Buffett Picks His ‘Bear’ for Annual Meeting [DealBook] $$$ Wall Street’s latest idea: collateral transformation [FT] $$$ Nasdaq executing trades at a loss [FT] $$$ "Las Vegas Sands is disputing reports out late Friday that it likely violated the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act," even though those reports included its own 10-K [CNBC] $$$ Mike Mayo has a lot to say about not being invited to meetings and stuff [CNBC] $$$ Fake bishop sneaks into Vatican meeting with 100 real cardinals [NYDN] $$$ Susquehanna is looking for operations analysts in New York [DBCC] $$$ The Effect of Underreporting on LIBOR Rates [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Big redemptions unlikely if Avenue loses Lasry to Parisian embassy [HFI] $$$ Icahn Foe Rachesky Joins Mentor Attack on Navistar [Bloomberg] $$$ The M&A pickup [FTAV] $$$ 'Batman' brings in suspect to Bradford police [BBC]

2016's worst economic performers; Bowie; HF stars fall to earth; "FedEx delivers tumor sample instead of man's Kindle"; and more.

$$$ Senate approves Lew as new Treasury chief [Reuters] $$$ J.C. Penney Posts Large Loss as Sales Sink Further [WSJ] $$$ Wall Street Junk Kings Selling Debt Poised to Lose Value [Bloomberg] $$$ Volcker Rule Could Be Delayed — Again [WSJ] $$$ Occupy the SEC is suing to force regulators to work faster on the Volcker Rule [Occupy the SEC] $$$ MBAs Assemble a Malm Bed from IKEA [YouTube / Wharton Follies] $$$ Citi Private Bank is looking for a senior taxable fixed income portfolio manager in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Delaware Finds Reverse Triangular Mergers Aren't Assignments [Deal Lawyers] $$$ Calpers Claims Victory in Apple Vote That Didn’t Happen [Deal Journal] $$$ "If a bank's cost of funding went up idiosyncratically, the borrower got penalized. If a bank was suddenly considered a big credit risk, it's borrowers paid the premium." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico [Guardian] $$$ Sallie Krawcheck: Going To An All-Girls School Was Tougher Than Working On Wall Street [The Jane Dough]