Ex-BankAtlantic CEO gets bar, fine; "Alleged penis-measuring exec charged in blood diamond scam"; Uber v. Brazil; "A Harvard employee has been accused of stealing $80,000 from the university and spending it on Lego and Apple products."; and more.

$$$ Yahoo Sales, Profit Top Estimates Amid Mayer Turnaround [Bloomberg] $$$ Farallon’s Founder to Leave by Year End [DealBook] $$$ BofA-Merrill Hires Top Broker From Morgan Stanley [Deal Journal] $$$ The World Financial Center will be renamed "Brookfield Place" [NYO] $$$ Marissa Mayer's baby is named Macallister Bogue [Fortune] $$$ Sorry, nerds: Popular kids earn more in the long run [WonkBlog] $$$ William Blair is recruiting for an Analyst - Special Situations & Restructuring to join the Corporate Finance team in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Is Mary Schapiro leaving the SEC soon? [FBN] $$$ CLOs stage comeback in US [FT] $$$ McSweeney's has a financial economist talking about debt [McSweeney's] $$$ "Is he a Columbia asshole or a Harvard asshole? The answer is important, because those are two very different types of asshole. Both are obsessed with showing you how smart they are, but the Columbia asshole does it by telling you everything he knows, while the Harvard asshole does it by acting bored with whatever you say. The Harvard variety is at least laid back, and the Columbia variety can be interesting; but put them together and you have a world-weary pest." [NR via IvyGate] $$$ Heinz Counterfeiting Operation Ends in Ketchup Explosion [Grub Street]

Spotify valued at $8.4 billion; Harvard Business School has a nice little side gig; Citi's top risk exec to exit; "Biden puts Bloomberg’s grandson’s pacifier in his mouth"; and more.

Commerce official didn't know you're not supposed to use work computers for porn; Brazil sinks; Tough road for DOJ to prosecute Wall Street execs; "Man Cited For Driving 112 MPH On Way To Traffic Court"; and more.

Bill Gross's Bloomberg keyboard to go on display at Smithsonian; Jacob Lew tells Greece they might wanna get a deal done; Dick Fuld blames everyone but Dick Fuld; "Man takes bullet to groin to prove strength of sports cup"; and more.

Pimco sues Citi; Barclays settles Libor; "Sumner Redstone Denies Ex-Girlfriend's Claim He's Incapacitated"; and more.

"Hired-gun hacking played key role in JPMorgan, Fidelity breaches"; Britain losing competitive edge in banking; Marissa Meyer leaving Yahoo soon?; "Martial arts experts in Moscow have devised a new fighting technique specifically for selfie stick users"; and more.

Citi will limit executive pay when investor returns fall; Jamie Dimon says lay off big banks; Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Alert In German Casino; and more.