Rogue brokers, you're all on notice.

You're a Harvard undergrad and you want to beef up your resume so that in a couple years, top hedge funds will be begging you to take meetings with them. You figure joining some sort of on-campus investor group might do the trick, but there are so many to choose from it's difficult to figure out which one is going to be your ticket to the big leagues. Except it's not actually that difficult at all. In fact, the answer is quite simple. There are student investment clubs and there is Black Diamond Capital Investors. The former, piddling little after-school programs for, when it comes down to it, amateurs. The latter, an opportunity to put your balls on the table and make some real money. If that sounds like something you'd be interested, please have a check or money order for at least $1,000 ready,* which is the minimum investment members/partners must make, so that management can ensure everyone's got skin in the game. “Black Diamond is all about taking investments to the next level,” said Patrick M. Colangelo ’14, who founded the club last semester. He said that the mandatory minimum investment exists to ensure member engagement in the group, which is limited to 25 participants. "We select experienced finance students who are willing to put up the minimum capital contribution because we seek partners who will be vested in the operations and performance of the fund," Colangelo said. "It really gets the most out of our partners.” Member Arash Alidoust ’13 said he believes the buy-in is critical to the success of Black Diamond, which claims to be Harvard’s largest private growth fund. “It makes you much more concerned and much more innovative,” Alidoust said. “Black Diamond becomes part of your life.” And while the initial outlay be difficult for some college kids to swing, rest assured you're going to make it back many times over. Members said that Black Diamond’s investment strategy differs significantly from that of other financial groups on campus. Like the hedge funds it emulates, Black Diamond is a riskier investment than some of its peer groups, a risk which members hope will be rewarded. Colangelo said that the organization is aiming for a 30 percent return on its investment...“What Black Diamond has been created for is for investors who have a little bit of experience, joining a group of other experienced individuals who really want to do something different,” Colangelo said. Alidoust said that the strength and diversity of Black Diamond’s team of investors allows the club to break out of the typical “framework” of investing. “We encourage innovation and new ideas about investing, rather than just sticking with the old ideas,” he said. Exclusive Investment Club Asks Student Members for $1,000 [Crimson] *Though feel free to invest up to $20,000.

BNY Mellon, JP Morgan, and a bunch of other banks know what we're talking about.

[caption id="attachment_99794" align="alignleft" width="260"] No jurisdiction can hold me.[/caption] Hedge fund manager Phil Goldstein once said that when Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth Bill Galvin looks in the mirror in the morning, he sees Eliot Spitzer. Granted, he said this before certain aspects of Client Number Nine's private life hit the front pages, but the point was made. And while Spitzer moves from one failed media venture to another—undoubtedly paying very close attention to a certain South Carolina House race—Galvin still carries the torch and a copy of the Bay State's securities law. That law must be unusually broad, because he's used it to fine a German bank $17.5 million for naughtiness related to a CDO created with an Illinois-based hedge fund.

Does more pay for less work sound like something you'd be interested in?

It's all over.

The answer is no, of course.