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Hedge Funds Now At "Causing Cancer" Levels Of Popularity

Sohn 2016 is getting off to a very 2016-ish start for hedge funds.

It's no secret that hedge funds are feeling less than Prom Queen popular these days, but this is getting ridiculous.


If and when fundie luminaries like David Einhorn, Stan Druckenmiller, Paul Singer, Seth Klarman and Paul Tudor Jones show up to the Sohn Conference at Lincoln Center today, they'll be met by the vestigial Occupy movement now calling itself "Hedge Clippers."

And according to social media, the greeting will be balls-out unfriendly:

The group has more of these little graphics for Klarman and Singer, and they're literally outside Lincoln Center right now chanting and carrying on in an effort to "shut down" the Sohn conference. They've even got The Hulk helping out!

Cool! Literal limousine liberalism!

This is "real," you guys.

But if the billionaires want to keep the fun ideas making their way around Lincoln Center - and, after all, this brainstorming session might be just what the embattled hedge fund industry needs to get back in the game - they can simply comply with Hedge Clippers "demands."

Several of the billionaire and multimillionaire hedge fund managers associated with the Sohn Conference Foundation are currently piling into fossil fuel investments, funding climate denial and promoting irresponsible politicians.
Their investments, philanthropy and campaign cash actually cause cancer.
David Einhorn, Stanley Druckenmiller, Paul Singer, Seth Klarman and Paul Tudor Jones are synonymous with “Cancerous Cash” in three major ways:

(1) They invest in big polluters and fossil fuels
(2) They fund junk science and dirty think tanks, and
(3) They bankroll the political candidacies of climate change deniers.

Instead of investing in green energy and renewable resources, these hedge fund managers are pouring billions of dollars into propping up the fossil fuel industry, in an attempt to enrich themselves at the expense of people and the planet.
The very same individuals you have solicited to raise money for pediatric cancer research are making millions of dollars through investments that have increased exposure to carcinogenic chemicals for children and adults.
These hedge fund managers are deeply involved in investments and lobbying that are keeping the cancer-causing fossil-fuel industry afloat, despite historic and worldwide rejection of dirty energy.

Basically, Hedge Clippers and Mark Ruffalo and Greenpeace et al. want Sohn to cancel the appearances of the aforementioned fund managers...therefore solving everything.

In a way you could say that the Sohn conference is Hillary Clinton and that Hedge Clippers are Bernie Sanders. Sure, Bernie is standing outside a fancy venue shouting about the moral turpitude going on inside - and more than a few passersby even think he has a point - but the conference is still going to happen because in the end the issue is just too complicated.

And Mark Ruffalo won't even get out of the car.


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