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Highest Paid Hedge Fund Managers Liked 2015 Just Fine

Oh, you didn't make $12.94 billion? That's unfortunate.
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As many of you know, 2015 was an annus f*cking horribilis of mega proportions for the hedge fund industry. Going to work each morning was a daily ritual in being violently sodomized where the sun don't shine or stepping onto Omaha Beach circa June 6, 1944 or or being murdered by the Khmer Rouge in some sort of Groundhog's Day waking nightmare. Can't miss ideas became a joke. Firms wondered WTF they were doing with their lives. Records were set, but they were for just how badly one could perform, if one really put his mind to it. And while it's true most managers have banned the numbers 2-0-1-5 from being spoken, written, or thought of in their presence, a select group actually have pretty chummy feelings about last year, like the ones who took home a combined $12.94 billion while their peers locked themselves in the bathroom and wept.

hedge fund rich list

As a reminder, Jim Simons has been retired for several years now and only lifts a finger to pick up his Pall Malls.

The 2016 Rich List Of The World's Top-Earning Hedge Fund Managers [Alpha]


Look At These Paupers: The 25 Highest Paid Hedge Fund Managers Of Last Year Made A Trifling $11.62 Billion

Scratch that. It was a triflin' $11.62 billion. They can't even scrape together the money for the 'g'.


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With a mere $2.5 billion each, they are both among the 332.8 million poorest Americans.