Recession fears are running rampant on Wall Street; Pay cuts, layoffs loom; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.

$$$ Goldman Fined for Failing to Block Trader’s $8.3 Billion Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Key SEC Holdout in Money-Fund Overhaul Reverses Stance [WSJ] $$$ Canada Approves Cnooc-Nexen Deal [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan nears £500m bonus tax deal [FT] $$$ Rant: At Top Law Firms, a Class Conflict During Bonus Season [BBW / Elie Mystal] $$$ Lloyd bought a house [DealBook] $$$ The 200 West Street Goldman cafeteria (1) is really very good, (2) features food from a former banker [DealBook] $$$ 100 Women in Hedge Funds names Ivanka Trump to its board, consists of 10,000 women, mostly not in hedge funds [AR] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit officer for securities backed lending in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ Morgan Stanley's 2013 adviser pay to reward new loans [Reuters] $$$ Brokers Must Disclose Bonuses to Clients in Finra Proposal [Bloomberg] $$$ "It’s always a mistake to use microeconomic intuition in macro," quantitative easing edition [Scott Sumner] $$$ Whale’s Trade in Comeback as Junk Fervor Fades [Bloomberg] $$$ "If Harvard wishes to retain its primary existence as a gigantic profit-maximizing hedge fund ..." [American Conservative via John Carney] $$$ Ivy League Cracks Down as Students Spiral Out of Control [Bloomberg] $$$ "I am tired of fooling around, he said. I’m forming a legal team. We have case studies, an office outside Lexington. He swept the strips off the table and held the beak in the air. We’re looking for a poet to write our anthem!" [The Awl]

$$$ Euro zone grants multi-billion euro lifeline for Greece [Reuters] $$$ Alcoa Earnings Beat Estimates as Car Sales Boost Aluminum Demand [Bloomberg] $$$ Buffett Gives $2 Billion to Gates Foundation [DealBook] $$$ Jefferies Must Pay Fired Trader $1.86 Million, Court Says [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ Indonesian men rescued after spending five days trapped in trees by Sumatran tigers [NYDN] $$$ Consider attending a breakfast briefing with Lynn Tilton tomorrow morning [Bryant Park] $$$ Pondering a Drought in Merger Deals [DealBook] $$$ What's behind Perry Capital's Fannie and Freddie gambit? [Fortune] $$$ CME chief defends clearing houses’ growing role [FT] $$$ The ‘Shiti Bike’ Sticker Campaign Is Upon Us [DI] $$$ There Is a Giant Inflatable Mr. Darcy Floating in London’s Hyde Park [HowAboutWe]

$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

$$$ Facebook Posts Loss, But Emphasizes Mobile Growth $$$ LightSquared Executives Get $6 Million in Bonuses Approved by Judge [Deal Journal] $$$ Bernanke QE3 Stocks Miss Greenspan Irrational Exuberance [Bloomberg] $$$ ‘I’m Quite Concerned About Fiscal Cliff’: Greenspan [CNBC] $$$ Argentina won't kneel down before 'vulture funds,' says Cabinet Chief [BA Herald] $$$ Gupta is no Rajaratnam. Gupta tipped inside information about one company to Rajaratnam, while Rajaratnam traded on confidential information collected from many sources. So you’d expect that Gupta would be treated differently when he appears for sentencing. Federal sentencing guidelines, however, suggest a prison term for him that’s similar in length to the 11 years Rajaratnam is serving. And prosecutors want a sentence within those guidelines, just as they want for the hundreds of defendants sentenced in federal courts nationwide every day. Because what Gupta and Rajaratnam did is so different, though, sentencing Gupta to anything like the time Rajaratnam is serving undermines the whole purpose of the sentencing scheme that prosecutors say they want to uphold. [Slate] $$$ For several years now, Marc Lasry, the co-founder of Avenue Capital, has decorated his mansion on East 74th Street with bloodied bodies hanging from the balcony, skeleton heads, a giant inflatable ghost, swinging bats and a life-size, clothed skeleton affixed to a tree on the sidewalk. One afternoon last week, tourists and children gathered to take pictures of a dancing skeleton beside the front door. It was singing “Super Freak.” (Perhaps in the spirit of competition, the hedge fund manager Philip A. Falcone and his wife, Lisa Maria, have lavishly decorated the exterior of their 27,525-square-foot house on East 67th Street even though it is currently a construction site.) [NYT via BI] $$$ Adveq, a leading asset manager investing in private equity and real asset funds globally, is looking for an investor relations and development representative for North America [DBCC] $$$ Former Soros CIO nears launch of Anderson Global Macro early next year [AR] $$$ Wall Street Is Rethinking Commodity-Trading Role [WSJ] $$$ This is a story about LBO companies getting equity financing from long-only investors to pay down debt to manageable levels before an IPO [Term Sheet] $$$ This is a story about a management consultant who is also a self-published poet [BBW] $$$ "My wife ... penetrated to the heart of the debate in a single sentence tonight when, only about 15 minutes into the exchange, she observed: 'Romney’s flag pin is much larger than Obama’s flag pin.'" [NR] $$$ Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack [The Onion] $$$ NYC-Based Soup Chain Offers Free Cup of Soup, Personal Service from a ‘Cunt’ Named Mary [Gawker]

$$$ European Union Proposes Central Banking Regulator [NYT] $$$ Spain says markets closing on it, seeks help for banks [Reuters] $$$ Ken Lewis's script to tell John Thain he was worried about Merrill's losses [Deal Journal] $$$ Using Confidential Information in a Hostile Offer [Harvard Law] $$$ Mitt Romney Surprised That Tall Man ‘Wasn’t in Sport’ [DI] $$$ Alpine Woods Capital Investors is looking for an experienced equity income Associate Portfolio Manager/Analyst in Westchester [DBCC] $$$ Hedge Funds Failing To Deliver Taxes To Connecticut [Bloomberg] $$$ Have a Bad Boss? Treat Him Like a Toddler [CNBC] $$$ Thomas H. Lee to Take Control of Party City [WSJ] $$$ Lax bros. Lax bros. [Boston Globe]

$$$ Bernanke Cites Risks, but Doesn't Signal Action [WSJ] $$$ Federal Reserve set to unveil capital proposals [FT] $$$ Ackman, Loeb, other hedge funds lose in May [Reuters] $$$ Ford Makes the Grade, Joins Borrowing Spree [WSJ] $$$ David Takes On The Porn-Addicted Goliath: Egan-Jones Countersues The SEC; the complaint is surprisingly persuasive [ZH] $$$ Mets To Sell Reprinted Tickets From Santana No-Hitter For $50 [Bloomberg] $$$ A major financial advisor is looking for a VP specializing in financial institutions to join its debt research team [DBCC] $$$ The rise and fall of European banking [FTAV] $$$ Insider trading probe swings from bankers to ballplayers [Reuters] $$$ Election Forecast: Obama Begins With Tenuous Advantage [FiveThirtyEight] $$$ How the internet killed porn [Guardian via MR] $$$ Most Work Emails Not Important [Mashable]

$$$ Cyprus Plans Bank Restructuring to Save Rescue [WSJ] $$$ S&P Cuts Rating on Cyprus by One Notch to Triple-C [Reuters] $$$ Hedge funds storm back into form [FT] $$$ Lululemon Sheer Yoga Pants Undetected Until Bend-Over Test [Bloomberg] $$$ Former MSNBC Host Dylan Ratigan Quit New York To Work On Hydroponic Organic Farm [TPM] $$$ Once-obese Goldman analyst becomes fitness evangelical, gym CEO [Reuters] $$$ Southeastern had eyed joining Dell buyout group [Reuters] $$$ Gold Giants Shrink to Fit as Paulson Pushes Breakup [Bloomberg] $$$ "And there was this dichotomy, like dumb versus smart money. We're smart money; they're dumb money. We are so smart that we deserve their money. It was essentially kind of an entitlement. And it was really unattractive to me. I spent a lot of time at lunch trying to understand the mindset of, like, how does being good at math give us the right to do this?" [EconTalk] $$$ A Watermelon, a Golf Course, a Horse, and Monstrous Dogs: 12 New Paintings from George W. Bush [Gawker]