$$$ A 'Corzine Rule' for Funds [WSJ] $$$ BofA Merrill Lynch prunes Canadian workforce [Financial Post] $$$ Fed Is Ready to Act if Europe Falters Again: Bernanke [Reuters] $$$ Chinese prison labor is making your internet gaming whatsits [Guardian] $$$ Surely everyone from Occupy Wall Street to Ron Paul will be convinced by this and we'll never hear about the gold standard again [BI] $$$ One person's Op-Ed is another's opportunity? A major investment bank is currently looking to expand its equity derivatives flow desk with a senior salesperson and a senior flow trader [DBCC] $$$ So long, BarCap [DealBook] $$$ BarCapJust Barclays thinks large European banks would have passed the US stress tests [DealBook] $$$ Santorum: "I don't care" about unemployment rate [Reuters] $$$ "Heand several colleagues were accused of selling unsuitable and overly risky investments. The case, regulatory records show, involved the stocks of Stearns & Lehman, a specialty food products company." That does sound risky. [NYT] $$$ "The only thing that Internet Explorer is good for at all is downloading other browsers." This is true, but watch this Microsoft commercial anyway. [Matt Yglesias / Slate]

Ex-Deutsche Bank analyst fined, suspended over stock rating; Dairy downturn hurts banks; Man wakes up with huge penis tattoo on his leg; and more.

$$$ Crédit Agricole Posts Record Loss After Greek Sale [WSJ] $$$ Dimon: America Still The Best There Is [CNBC] $$$ Regulators Postpone Some Basel Rules [DealBook] $$$ Jury Is Told Ex-UBS Trader Was Made a Scapegoat for Bank’s Woes [DealBook] $$$ U.S. judge insists Argentina must pay holdout creditors [Reuters] $$$ Charles Darwin Gets 4,000 Votes in Georgia Congressional Race [DI] $$$ The SEC is looking a financial economist in the Division of Risk, Strategy, and Financial Innovation, Office of Risk Assessment and Interactive Data in DC [DBCC] $$$ Exec Who Allegedly Enabled Fraud Runs Chase’s Effort to Compensate Foreclosure Victims [ProPublica] $$$ A Run on Groupon’s Shares as Growth Slows Again [DealBook] $$$ Judge: Kodak Didn’t Mislead Market By Keeping Mum on Bankruptcy Prep [Deal Journal] $$$ "The IMF, on the other hand, is an old hand at bailouts and has learned a lot of expensive lessons. It isn’t willing to throw money into Greece without an actual, credible plan, as opposed to the tissue of optimistic assumptions and politically conditioned forecasts that the EU habitually uses to disguise the true state of affairs from itself and the voters." [Via Meadia] $$$ A trip to outer space (that will "qualify you as an official astronaut") — for just $95,000 [MW]

$$$ Excited for Whale day? [Reuters] $$$ Banks’ Libor costs may hit $22bn [FT] $$$ Bain Starts Raising Buyout Fund With $6 Billion Target [Bloomberg] $$$ PFG Employee Files Lawsuit for Wages so he could afford the new leash, harness and doggie bed he had bought for Apple, his terrier mix [FINS] $$$ Piggy bank has a new meaning in a town east of Vienna after a surveillance camera caught a wild pig on a night foray to a local branch of one of Austria’s financial institutions. The Austria Press Agency reports that the inquisitive porker managed to push open a locked sliding glass door of a bank in Hainburg an der Donau to make its way inside. After looking around, it left the same way it came without causing significant damage, with the door locking behind it. [AP] $$$ A prominent broker-dealer is looking for a junior non-agency mortgage trader [DBCC] $$$ Richard Posner: Why There Are Too Many Patents in America [Atlantic] $$$ Goldman recruits former Treasury spokesman [FT] $$$ In spite of the Barclays scandal, LIBOR product continues to do well [Sober Look] $$$ Here you will find NSFW pictures of dinosaur loving [Daily Mail]

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]

$$$ Gold Sinks Into Bear Territory [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Switches Risk Model Again After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ US Senate scales back insider law [FT] $$$ Spain Eases Rules in Move Seen Helping Convicted CEO [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Credit Suisse trader pleads guilty in MBS case [Reuters] $$$ Mayo Tells Wells Fargo Execs Results ‘Stunk’ [Deal Journal] $$$ When options trading ahead of deals raises eyebrows [Reuters] $$$ Notes from the DoubleLine Lunch with Jeffrey Gundlach, Spring 2013 [Reformed Broker] $$$ Doubts over new CDS futures [IFR] $$$ High-Speed Trader Said to be Considered for SEC Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Billionaire Koch Wins $12 Million Verdict in Wine Trial [Bloomberg] $$$ Sarasota Man Steals Ten Cans Of Axe Deodorant From Publix Store, Assaults Security Guard, Broken Bicycle Chain Foils Getaway [Global Dispatch]

Emergency summit called re: Greece; IPO market heating up again; "Angry Softball Man Leaves Insane Voicemail After Being Moved To Outfield"; and more.

Jefferies sued over 'women as sex objects' culture; Ex-Yellen aide thinks rate hike would be a bad idea; "7-Eleven offers 'Date Night' delivery of ice cream and condoms"; and more.