Las Vegas sports gambler pleads not guilty to insider trading; Asian regulators want banks to reveal Panama Papers links; 77-year-old congressional candidate busted with 180 pot plants; and more.

Regulators to put HSBC out of its misery; "Morgan Stanley's Hunger Games-inspired video they don't want you to see"; JPM will not breakup; Crab snatched by octopus in dry land sneak attack; AND MORE.

$$$ Facebook Posts Loss, But Emphasizes Mobile Growth $$$ LightSquared Executives Get $6 Million in Bonuses Approved by Judge [Deal Journal] $$$ Bernanke QE3 Stocks Miss Greenspan Irrational Exuberance [Bloomberg] $$$ ‘I’m Quite Concerned About Fiscal Cliff’: Greenspan [CNBC] $$$ Argentina won't kneel down before 'vulture funds,' says Cabinet Chief [BA Herald] $$$ Gupta is no Rajaratnam. Gupta tipped inside information about one company to Rajaratnam, while Rajaratnam traded on confidential information collected from many sources. So you’d expect that Gupta would be treated differently when he appears for sentencing. Federal sentencing guidelines, however, suggest a prison term for him that’s similar in length to the 11 years Rajaratnam is serving. And prosecutors want a sentence within those guidelines, just as they want for the hundreds of defendants sentenced in federal courts nationwide every day. Because what Gupta and Rajaratnam did is so different, though, sentencing Gupta to anything like the time Rajaratnam is serving undermines the whole purpose of the sentencing scheme that prosecutors say they want to uphold. [Slate] $$$ For several years now, Marc Lasry, the co-founder of Avenue Capital, has decorated his mansion on East 74th Street with bloodied bodies hanging from the balcony, skeleton heads, a giant inflatable ghost, swinging bats and a life-size, clothed skeleton affixed to a tree on the sidewalk. One afternoon last week, tourists and children gathered to take pictures of a dancing skeleton beside the front door. It was singing “Super Freak.” (Perhaps in the spirit of competition, the hedge fund manager Philip A. Falcone and his wife, Lisa Maria, have lavishly decorated the exterior of their 27,525-square-foot house on East 67th Street even though it is currently a construction site.) [NYT via BI] $$$ Adveq, a leading asset manager investing in private equity and real asset funds globally, is looking for an investor relations and development representative for North America [DBCC] $$$ Former Soros CIO nears launch of Anderson Global Macro early next year [AR] $$$ Wall Street Is Rethinking Commodity-Trading Role [WSJ] $$$ This is a story about LBO companies getting equity financing from long-only investors to pay down debt to manageable levels before an IPO [Term Sheet] $$$ This is a story about a management consultant who is also a self-published poet [BBW] $$$ "My wife ... penetrated to the heart of the debate in a single sentence tonight when, only about 15 minutes into the exchange, she observed: 'Romney’s flag pin is much larger than Obama’s flag pin.'" [NR] $$$ Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack [The Onion] $$$ NYC-Based Soup Chain Offers Free Cup of Soup, Personal Service from a ‘Cunt’ Named Mary [Gawker]

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

Rate rise risks; Silicon Valley cash drying up; "Now What Happens to Shkreli's Wu-Tang Record?"; and more.

$$$ ECB Seen Favoring Bond Buying Over Bank Loans [Bloomberg] $$$ Swiss overhaul unsettles asset managers [FT] $$$ Homeowners give boost to US banks [FT] $$$ Treasury: Taxpayers Likely to Profit From Financial Rescue Programs [WSJ] $$$ Independent traders staged a walkout in one of CME Group Inc.'s CME busiest interest-rate futures pits, protesting a large, privately negotiated trade a day earlier that they claimed was unfair. The action by several dozen floor traders, which lasted about an hour, made prices harder to come by for some contracts used by banks and hedge funds to protect against shifts in some interest rates and threatened to deplete volumes in the market. ... Thursday's trade "was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back" for the protesters, said David Stein, an independent trader who was standing outside the pit Friday and who helped organize the protest. Mr. Stein said allowing privately negotiated block trades was "anticompetitive" and "un-American." [WSJ] $$$ A broker-dealer is looking for someone to trade equities in Dallas [DBCC] $$$ Obama likely paid higher tax rate than Romney in 2011 [Reuters] $$$ "The Securities and Exchange Commission is reviewing a proposal to create the first diamond-backed exchange-traded fund." [NYT] $$$ Facebook Acquires Mobile Marketer Tagtile [CNBC] $$$ Analysts Worry Gucci Will ‘Underperform’ Luxury Peers as PPR’s Stock Falls [Fashionista] $$$ Bloomberg unveils Muppets as NYC ambassadors [AP] $$$ “Hardcore Porn” Mistakenly Interrupts “Good Morning America” Broadcast In Two Towns [The JaneDough]

$$$ S.E.C. Charges the Chinese Affiliates of 5 Big Accounting Firms [DealBook] $$$ Morgan Stanley wealth unit aims to close lending gap [Reuters] $$$ "Through the end of November, U.S. companies with below investment-grade ratings sold $854 billion in junk-rated bonds and 'leveraged' loans, a record amount that outpaces the $785 billion sold in all of 2011 and even the $825 billion sold in 2007 before the financial crisis." [Deal Journal] $$$ Is Spying on Corporate Jets Insider Trading? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 180 Minutes With [former Top Model contestant and current Citi equity derivatives saleswoman] Kim Stolz [NYM, earlier] $$$ The Pope will start tweeting eventually [NYT] $$$ A top-tier financial firm is looking for a securities lending analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Credit Suisse is paying negative interest rates on some SFr cash balances [FTAV] $$$ Lawyer Says Trader Did Not Manipulate Market [DealBook] $$$ Oracle to Pay Three Dividends in December [WSJ] $$$ El Paso's $110 mln settlement over Kinder Morgan deal approved [Reuters] $$$ Romney Rejoins Board of Marriott [WSJ] $$$ Whisky Restores Eyesight of Man Who Was Blinded by Vodka [Gawker]

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]