Money going to Janus but not Bill Gross; Michael Lewis tries not to think about the markets too much; Warren Buffett likes America; Deutsche Bank CEOs take paycut; Dad shoots son, but not fatally, for finishing orange juice; and more.

Steve Cohen's comeback; A Bill Gross bet pays off; Valeant; "Taxidermist Immortalizes Michigan State Win ... With Chipmunks"; and more.

Growth of fintech forecast to spur almost 2m banking job cuts; Bill Gross is pissed; Erin Callan speaks; Mississippi cheerleader admits she tried to join ISIS; and more.

$$$ Buffett: My Succession Plans Have Not Changed [CNBC] $$$ Meredith Whitney upgraded Citigroup [MarketBeat] $$$ Should you worry that all the big banks are growing their assets? [DealBook] $$$ Canadian approached for top BoE job [FT] $$$ Sallie Krawchek: "I've thought a lot about the issue of stereotypes, particularly on Wall Street. I can't count the number of times I have seen men slam something on a table, even throw something. You sort of do a mental eye roll and move on. I can count on one hand — on one finger — the number of tantrums I've seen a woman have. As she was having it, I remember thinking to myself, Bitch." [Marie Claire] $$$ The Ira Sohn Investment Idea Contest seeks to identify a great investment idea to help benefit children with cancer. This year's contest will be judged by an incredible group including Michael Price, Bill Ackman, David Einhorn, Joel Greenblatt and Seth Klarman. The winner will be selected based on the judges’ determination of the most compelling investment idea submitted with a one-year horizon, and will then get to present their investment idea at the Ira Soch Investment Conference itself in May. $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a market risk regulatory capital vice president [DBCC] $$$ London Goes After Trading in Yuan [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America Said to Put Foreign Wealth Management Unit Up for Sale [DealBook] $$$ Derivatives Lobby Has U.S. Regulators on the Run [Bloomberg / Roger Lowenstein] $$$ "We are in a depression, but not because we don’t know how to remedy the problem. We are in a depression because it is our revealed preference, as a polity, not to remedy the problem. We are choosing continued depression because we prefer it to the alternatives." [Interfluidity] $$$ "A Michigan lottery winner was charged with fraud Tuesday for collecting food stamps and public health insurance despite pocketing a $735,000 jackpot."

Recession 2016; Lacker not worried about China in US; Busted Michigan "Sex Toy Bandits" Make Crowdfunding Pitch For Wedding Funds; and more.

A new breed of trader; Brexit fears; Good times for ETFS; British theme park auctioning off complete log ride; and more.

$$$ Doubts Rise Over EU Bank Metrics [WSJ] $$$ Race to save euro will follow ‘Grexit’ [FT / Willem Buiter] $$$ Falcone’s Harbinger Capital Turns To Dell’s MSD For Loan [Bloomberg] $$$ Oracle CEO Larry Ellison buys Hawaii island known for pineapples, Bill Gates' wedding [CNN] $$$ "As my closest family and friends, it is important to me set the record straight on some of book’s major inaccuracies." Kerry Killinger appears to be illiterate. [DealBook] $$$ British school calls police to remove pupil 'obsessed' with studying [NYP via DI] $$$ The Decathlon is now open to teams of 3, competing for the title of "Wall Street's Fittest Firm" - sign up today [The Decathlon] $$$ A New Jersey asset management firm is looking for a COO, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Red flag at popular Alerian MLP Index ETN [Investment News] $$$ Constellation Brands executives get paid partly in free booze [Footnoted.com] $$$ Does The CFA Exam Waste A Billion Dollars? [BDC Review] $$$ The Terrifying Sex Organs of Male Turtles [io9]

Gross says avoid bank stocks; World's no.2 currency trader expects dollar to surge; NY Woman caught driving with elaborate cardboard license plate; and more.