Apparently the law of "You break it, you buy it" is not actually in the Magna Carta.
The race to succeed David Cameron as prime minister of Britain was turned upside down on Thursday when Boris Johnson, widely seen as the leading candidate, chose at the last minute not to run, after his close ally Michael Gove unexpectedly said he would seek the job.
While Boris does seem to be the victim of a little palace intrigue, it also feels like he might have just stood there while Gove stabbed in the back and smirked coyly as the knife went in, murmuring "Please...don't" in a flat monotone just to make it look good.
Because after all, if Boris Johnson's hair teaches us anything it's that he's not fond of putting something back together after messing it up. And don't take our word for it, take his...
“Last week, the people of this country voted to take a new path and a new direction for Britain, in a decision that I passionately support.”
“It is vital now to see this moment for what it is,” he continued. “This is not a time to quail, it is not a crisis, nor should we see it as an excuse for wobbling or self-doubt, but it is a moment for hope and ambition for Britain. A time not to fight against the tide of history, but to take that tide at the flood, and sail on to fortune.”
No wobbling, just sailing! Boris sees that you're all "freaking out" or whatever but this isn't the worst of times he'd handed you, it's the best. Don't watch all those bankers in torn suits climbing on to life rafts aimed at Frankfurt and Dublin, look at the ephemeral idea of Britain's tomorrow!
Well, don't look too closely because Boris won't be there...
“Having consulted colleagues and in view of the circumstances in Parliament, I have concluded that person cannot be me,” he said. “My role will be to give every possible support to the next Conservative administration, to make sure that we properly fulfill the mandate of the people that was delivered at the referendum, and to champion the agenda I believe in.”
But after this, no wobbling.