Martin Shkreli Has A Brexit-Proof Financial Plan

What could be better than Martin Shkreli at a child's birthday party?

Hey there.

Does the fall of the British economy got you down? Are you a New York banker about to fitted for lederhosen and sent of to Frankfurt to build a new European market center? Are you regertting putting your entire retirement account in a "unique" British currency fund? Are you maybe just John Cryan?

Well, have we got a pick-me-up plan for you! Courtesy of Dealbreaker's favorite emo-bro turned hedge fund manager turned pharma CEO turned federal fraud defendant Martin Shkreli:

That's right, for the low, low sum of 1,000.00 you can have the most hated Millennial face in America read a love poem at your wedding, or help your bar mitzvah boy light a candle, or at your four-year-old's birthday where he inevitably ruins "Pin the tail on the donkey" by throwing a tantrum after having his rapping criticized by a toddler.

So, order Martin Shkreli now, before...well, you know...