Everybody In Finance Is Backing Trump According To Blind Drunk Finance Bro

There is a secret Trump Train taking Wall Street by storm...or maybe everyone is really drunk.

Despite the overwhelming narrative to the contrary, we all know that the Pro-Trump crowd on Wall Street is populated by more than a lone Scaramucci.


Sure, CNBC's Steve Liesman can show you a well-reported and researched piece proving that Wall Street is statistically united in its assumption that Hillary will win come November, but even his data shows that Trump supporters can be spotted with relative frequency in the world of finance.

But like we aways say, concrete examples are always way more fun than a trendy notion. So let's tip our hats to NY Mag's George Gurley who went on an urban safari in search of them. Here's a description of his quest in his own words:

A tour of what I imagined might be Trump-friendly watering holes — the East End Grill, Dorrian’s Red Hand, the Beer Bar at Grand Central — yielded nothing. “Looking for a Trump Bro in Manhattan?” responded one prospect, who was kicking back at the Bryant Park café. “That’s a bitch assignment.” I soon began to hear a constant refrain, the name of a local establishment where Trump Bros were said to congregate, let down their guard, and give voice to their love for Trump in relative safety.

I think we all know where this is going...

Brother Jimmy’s, Murray Hill.

Oh... yes.

And once inside the promised land for finance bros looking to keep it casual but also get formally wasted, Gurley was fishing with dynamite.

In the middle of the bar area, I spotted them — a pair of 28-year-olds who readily copped to being Trump supporters. They didn’t want to give their names and would only say they met at a college in northeastern Pennsylvania. What did they like about Trump?
“He is a Republican, and he is not Hillary Clinton,” said one of the pair. “We work in the financial industry, where everybody likes Trump. Everybody’s walking around saying, ‘Hey Trump train! Trump train!’ I’m not making this up at all.” 

Of course he isn't making it up! When he says everybody, he means "Everybody!"

We can see it now: The Surf Club Montauk's most powerful conga line ever features Jamie Dimon, Gary Cohn, Bill Ackman, Tony James and Michael Corbat grabbing the hips of the man in front of him, dancing in unison and yelling "Trump TRAIN!" before making train horn noises and collapsing from the force of their shared giggle fit.

But back to Brother Jimmy's. Are our two Trumpy finance bros raising money for the cause, or planning a get out the vote jam?

“To sum up why I don’t hate Trump: He’s not a politician. He can negotiate. He can’t be bought. He’s a joke, though. He’s not serious.”
This was starting to look like some pretty soft support. “He just pulled out of his Muslim stance,” one said with annoyance. “He said, ‘Oh, it’s a suggestion … ’ He shoots from the hip and then he backtracks when it pisses people off. I think it’s a stretch to say I support him.”

Wait, what about the train?

I was beginning to doubt these were real Trump Bros at all. Or perhaps they simply sensed danger and were now attempting to camouflage themselves.
So, I asked point-blank, will they be voting for Donald Trump?
“Um, at this point, no.”
“I’m probably not voting.”

You can't make this sh!t up... at all

I Found a Sanctuary for Trump Bros in Manhattan — and Was Almost Beaten Up When I Started Asking Questions [NYMag]