NY wants foreign banks to turn over Panama records; Blackstone hedge funds falls 15%; Motorist Crashes Into Walmart, Blames God; and more.

Somalia plants to print its own currency; North Korea linked to digital attacks on global banks; Kim Jong Un's aunt runs a dry-cleaners in NYC; and more.

Valeant has best 3-day run in nearly 20 years; Treasury says banks should be probed on Panama Papers; Meet the masseuse who bites Kanye and Steven Tyler; and more.

$$$ Barclays to shrink controversial tax unit [FT] $$$ Glencore Details Final Offer for Xstrata [WSJ] $$$ Nasdaq unwavering on paybacks for faulty Facebook launch [Reuters] $$$ Tim Geithner ran a pretty good triathlon this weekend [DealBook] $$$ Goldman Goes Unpaid in El Paso Case [Deal Journal] $$$ William Morris Endeavor Entertainment is suing Amanda Drury for its commissions [Hollywood Reporter] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a marketing associate for private clients in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ California wants the DOJ to stop hedge funds from threatening cities who want to use eminent domain to rewrite mortgages [Reuters] $$$ Everything you could possibly want to know about IOER [FTAV] $$$ Deutsche Bank Chiefs to Unveil Plan [WSJ] $$$ Harvard Football Said to Risk Losing Players in Cheating Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ "A jury on Monday awarded casino mogul Steve Wynn $20 million in his slander case against 'Girls Gone Wild' founder Joe Francis, who claimed the creator of some of Las Vegas' most upscale resorts threatened to kill him over a gambling debt." [NYP]

$$$ Merkel's Dilemma: Risk Euro Zone or Her Government [WSJ] $$$ S.E.C. Pays Out First Whistle-Blower Reward [DealBook] $$$ Fed probes RBS over dealings with Iran [FT] $$$ Barry Diller's IAC offers $300 million for About.com [Reuters] $$$ Fifty Shades of Grey Is Now the Only Hope Our Economy Has [DI] $$$ Red Lobster Waitress Attacked For Filling Water Glasses Too Often At St. Louis Location [HuffPo] $$$ A broker-dealer is looking for experienced emerging market credit salespeople in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Subprime Whodunit A Case of Semantics [WSJ, related] $$$ Best Buy Suspends Profit Outlook & Buybacks After Ending Deal Talks [Reuters] $$$ Sometimes VCs sell stock, deal with it [Fred Wilson] $$$ "Prince Harry tried to end Ryan Lochte’s championship reign Monday, duking it out with the Olympic hero in an after-hours race at a boozy Las Vegas pool party." [NYDN] $$$ The Koch brothers' less famous younger brother built a fake Western town for some reason [Gawker]

$$$ Standard Chartered Accused of Hiding Transactions With Iranians $$$ Banks Say Loan Applications Rise [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake asset sale lifts profits, shares rise [Reuters] $$$ Swiss Brace for Talks with US on Secret Accounts [Reuters] $$$ U.S. judo Olympian kicked out for "accidentally" eating pot [NYDN] $$$ Harvard Management is looking for a quantitative risk analytics senior associate and a position management associate [DBCC] $$$ Magnetar synthetic CDO construction and marketing: the emails [ProPublica] $$$ German bank has CDO case against Aladdin, court says [Reuters] $$$ Facebook Bears Garner 500% Profit From Structured Product Bets [Bloomberg] $$$ What Mitt Romney Bought at the Hardware Store [DI]

Brady Dougan says Credit Suisse got too big; Kleiner Perkins wants $1 million from Ellen Pao but is willing to deal; JPM closes pot accounts; Bra Bandit strikes again; and more.

The hedge funds that DID make (lots) of money in 2015; Pot credit unions vs Federal Reserve; "Those $400 tickets to celebrate NYE at Olive Garden are actually selling fast "; and more.