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Write-Offs: 6.14.16

Platinum Partners to shut main hedge fund; Andrew W.W. Caspersen his with new charges; 11-foot alligator found in Florida drainage system; and more.
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Write-Offs: 3.16.16

Pershing Square down 26.4% YTD; JPM and Citi shareholders will vote on breaking up banks; Florida woman fights to keep potty-trained pet alligator; and more.

Write-Offs: 09.24.12

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

Write-Offs: 9.1.15

China panic; Rate hike; Making UBS look human; "In a bid to dodge DUI and drug charges, a 24-year-old Floridian allegedly offered to perform sex acts upon three separate cops, solicitations that were rejected and resulted in bribery charges being filed against the woman."; and more

Write-Offs: 5.19.15

Icahn scores $3.4 billion on Apple; NFL player's wife files suit against boss who asked her how many cheerleaders her husband banged, among other things; 6 charged with economic spying; "Korean teacher ate hamster to show 'how dear life is'"; and more.

Write-Offs: 08.28.12

$$$ Catalonia Asks Spanish Government for Emergency Funds [NYT] $$$ Asia's Tide of Cash Hems in Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Morgan Stanley Win On Brokerage Would Be Pyrrhic Victory [Bloomberg] $$$ Paulson Assures Bank of America in Call [WSJ] $$$ "When I asked a PE tax attorney if what Bain is doing is allowed, she told me that 'allowed' and 'not allowed' isn't always the right way to think about it." Tax lawyers! [Term Sheet] $$$ The CFA Institute comes out against Great Idea Corp. [Forbes] $$$ Shia LaBeouf Got Into Character for Upcoming Film by Dropping Acid On Set [Gawker] $$$ William Blair is looking for an experienced associate for its technology investment banking group in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ S.E.C. Charges 8 With Insider Trading in Sanofi Deal [DealBook] $$$ ISM sells a low-latency feed of its business data to Reuters [MarketBeat] $$$ “There’s an idea that when a lawyer or law firms are going to get a big payment, that there’s something somehow wrong about that, just because it’s a lawyer. I’m sorry, but investment banks have hit it big, a lot bigger the plaintiffs’ lawyer firms have hit it big. They’ve hit it big many times.” This Law Blog story on the Grupo Mexico verdict is kind of amazing. [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ Wall Street Rocker Gary Marks Settles With SEC Over Whether Knew What He Was Talking About [NYO] $$$ "There were no workers that were forced to attend the event. We had managers that communicated to our work force that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend the event." [Raw Story] $$$ Hitler clothing store in India asked to change name [JTA]

Write-Offs: 08.20.12

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]

Write-Offs: 06.18.12

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

Write-Offs: 2.11.16

Goldman staff leave following 'guidelines breach'; Yellen says negative rates are on the table; DEA: Wheelchair-Bound Woman, 74, Ran Heroin Sales For Florida Drug Gang; and more.