In the coming months, JP Morgan is expected to pay $200 million to settle both civil and criminal probes over the way it went about doing its hiring in Asia, which allegedly included "a China program in which it hired sons and daughters of powerful people," a set up that "violated a U.S. law prohibiting giving something of value in exchange for business." The settlement is good news for the bank since it'll avoid "more mostly penalties that could come, including the filing of criminal charges," but sad for us, because it means we'll have to say goodbye to the greatest character to emerge from the probes: Gao Jue. For one last time, let's recall that Goa, the son of China's commerce minister:

• Performed poorly during his interviews with the bank
• Was characterized by more than one managing director as "the worst BA candidate they had ever seen"
• Was described as "immature, irresponsible and unreliable" by a senior banker
• Screwed up his work visa
• "Accidentally sent a sexually explicit email to a human-resources employee"

...and was not only offered a job but subsequently spared during a major round of layoffs.

J.P. Morgan Chase Nearing Settlement With Prosecutors on Asia Hiring Probes [WSJ]

Earlier: JP Morgan Just Coincidentally Hired 222 Friends And Family Members Of Officials At Chinese Companies It Took Public; Wait, Is It Not Typical Of JPMorgan To Hire People People Who Send “Sexually Explicit Emails” To HR And Are Described As “The Worst…Candidate Ever”?