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Deutsche Bank Longing For Days When Its Biggest Problem Was How Americans Pronounced Its Name

Oh, how they yearn for the glory days of "Douche Bank."
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By Deutsche Bank AG (GIF format logo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

By Deutsche Bank AG (GIF format logo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Just last week, we compiled a litany of the many, many things that have gone wrong for Deutsche Bank this year. And, for brevity’s sake, we didn’t even include the piping of material non-public information over the loudspeakers or the “lapses” in preventing money laundering or the bonuses that range from effectively non-existent to microscopic or the time that its CEO of six months publicly announced he’d rather be running a different bank. And now, American, British and German regulators are taking some time out of their myriad other investigations into the bank to ask, who exactly was the bank helping spirit $10 billion out of Russia?

Let us not dwell on these things. Let us instead hark back to a time when Deutsche Bank was a simpler, stodgier, German-er bank, and had simpler, stodgier, German-er problems.

In the nineties, when hundreds of Americans went to work for Deutsche Bank in London, German managers had to place a sign in the entrance hall spelling out “Deutsche” phonetically, because many Americans called their employer “Douche Bank.”

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