What do you do after pulling the strings on a merger of two public companies that you more than vaguely control, pissing off shareholders on both sides and sending Wall Street into a rage dance?
If you're Elon Musk, you stare irony dead in the eye and do this:
Tesla announced new versions of its Model S sedan and Model X crossover Tuesday, with substantially faster acceleration and longer battery range.
Tesla claims its Model S P100D with Ludicrous mode is the fastest production car in the world, in terms of acceleration, with a 100 kilowatt hour battery, with a 315 mile EPA range.
So take that, SolarCity whiners and pissy Tesla investors, you think Elon is acting crazy? He's acting LUDICROUS!
And it's just this kind of crazy that Elon Musk believes is going to solve everything!
"I think this is going to send a great message to the public that sustainable transport is the future," Musk said.
And being part of the future is expensive.
The Model S will start at $134,500 and the Model X will start at$135,500.
Ludicrous Mode indeed. But wait until you hear why Elon thinks the premium pricing is actually a deal.
"It is a very expensive car," Musk said,"but it is important to bear in mind that this is what is paying for the Model 3" both in terms of cash flow, and in terms of research and development.
With a consumer sales pitch like this, Elon is wasting his time running a car company/solar panel concern/space rocket manufacturer.
Homeboy should be saving Macys.
Usually we'd use this space to tell you what Tesla's stock price is doing but this is an Elon Musk post, so just picture a curvy, undulating line with questions mark circling around it and a war-painted Jim Chanos dancing angrily around fire on the end of it.