The NFA Went Looking For A Teenage Futures Trader, And Then Things Got Weird

According to regulators, Jacob Wohl is not just another teenager messing around with managed futures.

In fact, it would seem that the National Futures Association thinks Wohl is of particular interest, what with him being a self-appointed child prodigy of volatility arbitrage hiring models off of Cragislist to staff his fund, and who has now found himself on the receiving end of an official complaint.

So it seemed like a no-brainer for the NFA to go get a look at Wohl's new LA HQ. Wohl reportedly joined the NFA in February and per NFA rules must now submit to inspection from NFA officials.

Cue the document:

A little confused and very intrigued, the NFA left Wohl a voicemail and some emails letting him know that they'd dropped by and would be popping back in the next day. Wohl never replied so the NFA went back...

Oh, well that was creepy.

Having been stymied - and peeped on - the NFA moved on down the protocol list...

At this point, after three attempts to contact Wohl that were characterized by eerie surveillance, confusion and a mysterious child, we assume that the NFA was starting to feel like it was on season 2 of "Stranger Things."

But then, it got...even weirder!

We can only imagine that NFA inspectors are not used to having this hard a time finding a futures trader only to be told via phone by said trader's dad that he would like them to retroactively stay off of his fucking lawn.

So there was no way this could possibly get any more bizarre. It's not like Wohl's daddy is going to make even more threats to the NFA, demanding that they let his son trade futures in peace...

Yeah... We now have evidence that our favorite 18-year-old hedge fund manager is literally hiding behind his dad and threatening to get a restraining order against regulators that he purposefully agreed to let regulate him.

And we're not even done.

Let's tally up, we've got someone behind a curtain, a missing teenage futures trader, an unnamed child, and an angry litigious dad. But what if we told you that David Wohl is not just a dad, he's a lawyer listed as his son's Chief Compliance Office at something called Montgomery Assets. David Wohl is also an official surrogate of the Donald Trump campaign.

So if we learned anything today, we learned that NFA filings are pretty pretty great.