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Wall Street’s Gonna Wait For The iPhone 8

The 7? Meh.
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By Dimitris Sartzetakis ( [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

via Wikimedia Commons

So there was a really important announcement about Apple today.

The European Commission ruling on Apple's Irish tax payments is damaging to Ireland and could not be allowed to stand, Taoiseach Enda Kenny has said….

The government would appeal the ruling before the European courts with every expectation of success, added Mr Kenny.

If in spite of those expectations Ireland is forced to accept Tim Cook’s $14.5 billion, however, Apple may have found a way to pay for it.

Apple Inc. unveiled its latest iPhones as the company seeks to reignite sales of the smartphone that has propelled much of its extraordinary growth over the past decade.

Should you doubt that people are ready to shell out $650 to get rid of that pesky headphone jack in their current iPhones, to make way for their new wireless AirPod headphones ($159), well, you’re notalone.

With few major changes to the iPhone’s exterior, most analysts expect sales growth will be muted. Sales in the all-important holiday quarter even could come in below last year’s 75 million phones sold….

With the somewhat dull iPhone 7 upgrade so close, some analysts are looking ahead to next year when Apple is rumored to have a much more significant upgrade on deck, particularly with a new higher-definition OLED screen.

Wall Street seemed to greet Wednesday’s introduction of the iPhone 7with a collective yawn….

Shortly before the trade of closing, Apple’s stock was up only 65 cents, or 0.6 percent, to $108.35 -- not exactly the kind of bump that signals investor excitement.

On the bright side, Apple’s announcement that the new iPhone would come with a Super Mario Bros. app—and that the waterproof iWatch would include the now quite-passé Pokémon Go—did get one stock back on the rollercoaster.

Shares of Nintendo's U.S. listed shares jumped 29% to $36.32 apiece Wednesday after the gaming pioneer said during the Apple conference it would bring several titles to Apple's various mobile platforms. Nintendo plans to release a version of its co-owned Pokemon Go augmented reality game to the Apple Watch and an "endless runner" style game using Mario Bros. characters to the iPhone called "Super Mario Run."

Apple tax ruling ‘must not stand’ says Enda Kenny [BBC]
Apple Unveils Latest iPhone [WSJ]
Investors not wowed by Apple’s iPhone 7 launch [CBS MoneyWatch]
Here’s Why Wall Street Isn’t Excited About a New iPhone [Fortune]
The real winner from Apple’s talk isn’t Apple. Nintendo came out on top. [USA Today]


Matt Taibbi Is Disappointed In Wall Street

The next hedge fund manager to invest in Apple gets a horse semen pie to the face. ...all those super-rich people who turned to hedge funds with their millions in the hopes that bunches of Whiz-Kids from Wharton and Harvard and Yale would find unseen and wildly creative investment ideas to fatten their fortunes – all those rich clients are actually finding out now that those same Whiz Kids are buying Apple just like the rest of us [...] Jesus. After all that craziness in the last decade or so, after MF and the London Whale and all that nuttiness, this is what it comes down to? These guys are buying Apple? Couldn't we have just started off doing that and saved ourselves all that trouble? [...] Someday we'll get back to the time when the really smart guys from the best schools went to work for companies that built actual products, engineered more efficient cars, cured diseases, etc. Because it seems like our best minds kind of suck at investing. More Evidence That Wall Street Is Overpaid [TAIBBLOG]

See page for author [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Nerds Have Won: Wall Street Edition

Get ready to report to the kind of people whose heads you used to stick in toilets.


Apple Revises Q1 Guidance Citing Chinese Trade And iPhone Sales As Things That Suck

Tim Cook looking to make his problem into everybody's problem.