Skip to main content

Deutsche Bank Still Doing Things Wrong Because It Takes Time To Stop Doing Things Wrong The Right Way

Going from "What's compliance?" to actual compliance could take at least a year.
  • Author:
  • Updated:
By Deutsche Bank AG (GIF format logo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

via Wikimedia Commons

It took the Germans some three decades to build the perfect defrauding machine. It is not the kind of thing you can just dismantle overnight.

Chief Regulatory Officer Sylvie Matherat, who was promoted to board level by CEO John Cryan, said she needed at least another year or so to complete the compliance set up.

"If you really want to solve a problem in a sustainable manner, it will take longer and will be more difficult," Matherat told Reuters in an interview.

"The current management team is trying not to do quick fixes. It's much better to clean up properly. But that takes time and the journey can sometimes get a bit bumpy."

Deutsche Bank’s compliance revamp will be bumpy journey [Reuters]



Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany

New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.

By Deutsche Bank AG (GIF format logo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Deutsche Bank Expects To Still Be Around In 2048

And also that banking will still be done in London.


Deutsche Bank Predictably Manages To Do The Right Thing In Totally The Wrong Way

The whole cutting-things-to-the-bone-and-firing-everyone-before-lunch thing totally would have worked seven years ago. Now? Maybe not so much.


Deutsche Bank Is A Hedge Fund

Scheiße Capital Management is having a rough day.


Robots To The Rescue At Deutsche Bank

John Cryan's gonna see if computers can catch his rogue traders, because his compliance people sure as hell can't.

By Nordenfan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Banks Allegedly Rigged Sovereign Bonds, Because They Exist

Admit it: You’d almost be disappointed if they hadn’t.