At this point, if you're not a major corporation reported to be considering an acquisition of Twitter, you should just shut it down because obviously no one takes you seriously.
But some crazy rumors are better than others, so we're going to focus on this magical one from Bloomberg:
The Walt Disney Co. is working with a financial adviser to evaluate a possible bid for Twitter Inc., according to people familiar with the matter.
M-I-C...See Jack Dorsey giggle...K-E-Y...Why? Because we have no fucking idea why.
But seriously, why?
“It’s a video distribution play,” said James Cakmak, an analyst at Monness Crespi Hardt & Co. “What Disney has to think about is what is its place in a post cord-cutting world. They are investing in technology for distribution -- and this would give them the platform to reach audiences around the world.��
Disney Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Bob Iger has developed a reputation as a strategic thinker with an appetite for bold bets such as the $7.4 billion acquisition of animation studio Pixar just months after he became CEO.
Yeah, Iger has pulled off some doozies. He's scooped up Pixar, Star Wars and Marvel giving him a stable of beloved cartoons, Jedis and a galaxy of superheroes. Bob Iger is the Buyer King. Why does he want to ruin all of that with Twitter?
Dorsey is on Twitter's board, so Iger knows him from around. But if that's the case then Iger also knows Jack has a lot of jobs right now and that Twitter is not exactly doing..."great" right now. So unless Iger is considering adding the Hashtaggiest Place on Earth to The House of Mouse for a #SuperLowballOffer - and when you factor in that Goldman Sachs has been the bank most closely associated with helping Twitter find a buyer - it seems hard to believe that Disney is terribly serous about this deal.
Also, Iger is probably aware that Disney owning Twitter effectively negates what's left of Twitter's theoretical "value." Why would any other media brand consider using Twitter as a marketing platform if they were effectively doing so at the mercy and pleasure of the baddest media brand on the block? It's pretty hard to fathom Twitter finally monetizing its reach if competitors stop airing trailers and ad campaigns on it.
So let's get a little more creative here, media rumor-mongers because this one isn't so solid...
Salesforce.com Inc. is also considering a bid, working with Bank of America on the process, according to other people, who declined to be named because the matter is private.
The way to make any potential M&A deal coming out of left field sound more plausible is to throw in the implicit personas of Marc Benioff and Brian Moynihan. Disney buying Twitter is a lot to process on its own, but this is a lot of players.