Cryan Defends Deutsche Bank as Some Clients Pare Back Exposure (Bloomberg)
The bank’s balance sheet is safer than at any point in the past two decades, Cryan told staff in a memo Friday. “Trust is the foundation of banking. Some forces in the markets are currently trying to damage this trust,” he said. Analysts also came to the bank’s defense. Stuart Graham at Autonomous Research LLP wrote that Deutsche Bank has enough readily available funds on hand to weather more than two months of severe stress, including trading clients pulling back. Goldman Sachs Group Inc. analysts led by Jernej Omahen said the lender can also access backstops from the European Central Bank.
Hedge Funds Gain by Betting Against Deutsche Bank (WSJ)
Greenwich, Connecticut-based AQR Capital Management, which runs $159 billion in assets, revealed that it had a short position in Deutsche Bank on Wednesday, according to a filing made public by the German regulator Thursday. Hedge funds Marshall Wace LLP, Discovery Capital Management LLC and Highfields Capital Management LP have all recently increased the size of their positions against the bank, according to filings. Hedge funds’ bets against the troubled German lender have been cranked up in recent days, although they are still below levels hit earlier this summer.
Wall Street Guru’s Spiritual Guide to Hitting Your Number Faster (Bloomberg)
Khemaridh Hy, late of Wall Street, starts at 5:15 a.m. with a Snapchat selfie and a caption that says, “Time for daily practice. Be present in the now!” After 20 minutes of meditation, he heads for the elevator and posts a quote on Twitter by the philosopher Lao Tzu, the one that begins: “Stop leaving and you will arrive.” He strolls to a coffee shop and blogs about “the number” -- the amount of money you need to amass to quit the business. “If the number enables you to live off a bond-like profile, remember that you’re also short a put,” Hy types on his Macbook. “In the journey of life, don’t we want to be long-call options?”
Secret Alpine Gold Vaults Are the New Swiss Bank Accounts (Bloomberg)
Deep in the Swiss Alps, next to an old airstrip suitable for landing Gulfstream and Falcon jets, is a vast bunker that holds what may be one of the world’s largest stashes of gold. The entrance, protected by a guard in a bulletproof vest, is a small metal door set into a granite mountain face at the end of a narrow country lane. Behind two farther doors sits a 3.5-ton metal portal that opens only after a code is entered and an iris scan and a facial-recognition screen are performed. A maze of tunnels once used by Swiss armed forces lies within.
Man promises to wear all of the trash he produces for 30 days (UPI)
A man has promised to wear a clear plastic suit containing every piece of garbage he produces for 30 days. A film crew will follow Rob Greenfield throughout New York City as he plans to create the American average of 4.5 pounds of trash per day, which will ultimately amount to 135 pounds. "Most people never think twice about the trash they make. Once it's in the garbage can it's out of sight out of mind and although the 4.5 pounds of trash per day statistic is widely known, very few visuals exist to help people truly understand it," a post on Greenfield's website stated.
US seeks pre-election settlement of bank mis-selling claims (FT)
The US Department of Justice hopes to agree an omnibus settlement with Barclays, Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank, extracting multibillion dollar fines from three of Europe's biggest lenders for mis-selling mortgage securities. By grouping the three banks together into a single deal the DoJ hopes to achieve maximum public impact by collecting an eye-catching sum in penalties from the trio just weeks before the US presidential election.
UBS Revamps Role of the Brokerage Branch Boss (WSJ)
Branch managers at UBS Group AG’s U.S. wealth-management arm said that in recent months they have been given greater authority and a clearer understanding of how their pay is calculated. UBS Americas President Tom Naratil also streamlined the unit by cutting a management layer and expanding the number of branch managers, while giving them greater leeway to make decisions on matters such as local marketing and client pricing.
Harvard Looks to Columbia’s Investing Chief for Turnaround Touch (Bloomberg)
Nirmal Narvekar, 54, on Thursday was named chief executive officer of the wealthiest university fund, which has struggled with a decade of lackluster returns. He starts on Dec. 5. Columbia also said it promoted Peter Holland, the chief investment officer of its endowment since 2003, to CEO.
Florida woman paid $50,000 to punch Martin Shkreli in the face (UPI)
A Florida woman won the opportunity to punch or slap former pharmaceutical CEO Martin Skhreli in the face after donating $50,000 to a child recovering from cancer. Shkreli auctioned the opportunity in hopes of raising money for 5-year-old Tyler Kulich, son of Shkreli's PR consultant Mike Kulich who recently died in his sleep. "I will auction one slap/punch in the face to benefit my friend Mike who passed away and leaves behind a young son who survived cancer," he wrote on Twitter. Shkreli announced on Wednesday that a woman named Katie had won the raffle and promised to match her $50,000 donation.