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Opening Bell: 9.9.16

Gundlach gets defensive; Deutsche Bank nears settlement; Investors prefer computers to traders; Judge cracks food jokes during Chipotle exec’s court appearance; and more.
By Nordenfan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

via Wikimedia Commons

Gundlach Says It’s Time to Get Defensive as Rates May Rise (Bloomberg)
“This is a big, big moment,” Gundlach said during a webcast Thursday. “Interest rates have bottomed. They may not rise in the near term as I’ve talked about for years. But I think it’s the beginning of something and you’re supposed to be defensive.”

Ex-AIG Chairman Greenberg Looks for Vindication in N.Y. Battle (Bloomberg)
Greenberg scrapped with regulators and the Internal Revenue Service and beat the federal government in what some called a no-chance suit. Now, he’s set to march into state court in Manhattan to defend an 11-year-old lawsuit accusing him of using sham transactions at AIG to hide the company’s financial troubles from shareholders. Opening statements are scheduled for Tuesday.

Fed Urges U.S. Ban on Wall Street Buying Stakes in Companies (Bloomberg)
Among several recommendations issued by U.S. banking regulators, one from the Fed urged Congress to prohibit merchant banking, in which firms buy stakes in companies rather than lend them money. In a report released Thursday, the agency also pushed for limits on Wall Street’s ownership of physical commodities after lawmakers accused Goldman Sachs and other banks of seizing unfair advantages in metal and energy markets in recent years.

Investors prefer computer-run hedge funds to traders: study (NYP)
Nearly 80 percent of investors surveyed by Preqin said performance of hedge funds has not lived up to expectations over the last 12 months. Sentiment was the worst among investors in activist-driven funds as 100 percent of respondents said their fund’s performance fell short of expectations. There was one bright spot in Preqin’s findings: 92 percent of investors in so-called “systematic CTAs,” which largely use computer-driven models to trade commodities and currencies, said their fund’s performance met expectations.

Amtrak Asks If Woman Stuck In Elevator Is Still There 7 Months Later (HP)
Conservative political commentator Amanda Carpenter tweeted in February that she was stuck in an “Amtrak elevator” at Baltimore-Washington International Airport. Seven months later, on Sept. 7, Amtrak inquired about Carpenter’s status. “Are you still in the elevator?” some concerned employee asked via Amtrak’s Twitter account. Thankfully, she was not...Amtrak indicated this week’s error came about because someone had recently retweeted Carpenter’s February message. The company copped to its mistake, admitting it was “not our finest hour,” and offered Carpenter an Acela ride free of charge.

NYSE to implement new volatility procedures Monday (Reuters)
The New York Stock Exchange will implement changes Monday to its opening procedures as it seeks to speed up trading and make it more efficient even on volatile days. The new procedures would eliminate "Rule 48," which allows market makers to delay opening a stock when markets are volatile.

Deutsche Bank nearing mortgages settlement with U.S. authorities: sources (Reuters)
German monthly manager magazine earlier reported that Deutsche Bank is expected to receive a demand for more than $2.4 billion from U.S. authorities in settlement of an investigation into past mis-selling of mortgage-backed securities.

Chipotle settles sick customers' claims, avoiding court battles (Reuters)
Chipotle Mexican Grill (CMG.N) has agreed to financial settlements with more than 100 customers who fell ill after eating at its restaurants last year, lawyers for the consumers said, as it attempts to move on from a string of food-safety problems. The burrito chain's strategy of resolving claims out of court, which has not previously been reported, shows it wants to avoid drawn-out public battles over foodborne illnesses that battered the company's stock price and reputation.

Judge cracks food jokes during Chipotle exec’s court appearance (NYP)
A Manhattan judge mocked a top Chipotle executive indicted in a cocaine ring by cracking food jokes during the suspect’s brief court appearance Thursday. Mark Crumpacker, 53, who was leading the Mexican fast-food chain’s efforts to get back on its feet following an e. coli outbreak, sat in Manhattan Supreme Court looking melancholic as Judge Edward McLaughlin cracked jokes at his expense. “I want to put the stupid puns aside, though I realize you may want some food for thought here,” McLaughlin said. In response to Crumpacker’s lawyers’ later request for an Oct. 18 adjournment date, McLaughlin added, “If you want six weeks to chew on this that’s fine.”

Related

Opening Bell: 01.30.13

MF Global's Bankruptcy Nears Happy Conclusion (NYT) On Thursday, a bankruptcy court will review a proposal that would return 93 percent of the missing money to customers like Mr. Desai, who lost his $580,000 nest egg in the brokerage firm's chaotic final days. And the trustee who has submitted the proposal, James W. Giddens, has quietly identified a way that, if sent to the judge and approved, could plug the remaining shortfall for customers in the United States, according to people involved in the case. The broad push to make MF Global customers nearly whole, a goal now surprisingly within reach, is a remarkable turnaround from the firm's 2011 bankruptcy filing when such a recovery seemed impossible. "I'm surprised that, magically, the money has shown up," said Mr. Desai, a software account executive who, like most customers in the United States, has only 80 percent of his money. "I feel very relieved." Deutsche Bank Seen Missing Goldman-Led Gains on Cost Rise (Bloomberg) Europe’s biggest bank by assets may post a loss of 210 million euros ($282 million) compared with a profit of 147 million euros in the fourth quarter of 2011, when it reports earnings tomorrow, according to the average estimate of nine analysts surveyed by Bloomberg. Goldman Sachs and three other leading U.S. investment banks saw their combined net income jump 92 percent annually to $9.73 billion in the period. Co-Chief Executive Officers Juergen Fitschen and Anshu Jain are eliminating staff and bolstering capital levels, the lowest among Europe’s biggest investment banks, in their first year in charge to help meet stricter capital rules. The costs countered a surge in trading revenue, spurred by the European Central Bank’s measures to stem Europe’s sovereign debt crisis. “Deutsche Bank is trying to look forward and hoping no one can really blame fourth-quarter losses on the new management as they only took over mid-year,” Andreas Plaesier, an M.M. Warburg analyst who recommends investors buy the shares, said by telephone from Hamburg. “It would rather see its earnings wrecked in one quarter and show it’s making progress on building capital.” Chesapeake CEO To Exit (WSJ) Chesapeake Energy Corp. Chief Executive Aubrey K. McClendon is leaving the company he built into the country's second-biggest natural-gas producer, citing "philosophical differences" with a board of directors largely installed by shareholders to curb his risk-taking and free-spending ways. Paul Singer Is a Backer of 'Les Miserables' (CNBC) Singer writes in his investor note: "December marked the end of the 'Beverly Boulevard II' film slate submission period. We accepted the final two additional film submissions during the quarter, bringing our remaining funding commitment to seven films set for release in 2013 and 2014. One film in the slate, 'Les Miserables,' was released during the quarter. It will be several more weeks before we begin to have any reliable idea of the ultimate economic performance and value of the big-screen version of this huge stage hit, but early indications are promising and the film just garnered three major awards at this year's Golden Globe Awards." "Beverly Boulevard II" is run by Relativity Media and Elliott Management appears to be a large investor in the company, at least according to this 2010 article from Institutional Investor. JPMorgan Bet Against Itself In 'Whale' Trade (Reuters) It was widely known that a group of about eight credit-focused hedge funds, such as BlueMountain Capital Management and Saba Capital Management, were on the other side of the trades that JPMorgan's London-based Whale team made on an index tied to corporate default rates. But the role JPMorgan's own investment bank may have played in the messy unwinding of the derivatives trade has not come out until now. One of the three people familiar with the matter claimed that JPMorgan managers discussed merging the two sets of trades in an attempt to offset some of the CIO's losses. Those talks ended about a month before Bloomberg News first reported the CIO trades on April 5 last year, the source said. JPMorgan's Kristin Lemkau said that this "never came up in our exhaustive internal investigation." Police Say Man Steals Ambulance, Then Tries to Steal Horses (WHNT) Police say it all began when Todd was arrested for DUI after a car crash. He was taken to Marshall Medical Center South for treatment. Police say while at the hospital, he walked out, got into a running ambulance and drove away. They say he later got the ambulance stuck on Barnard Street, but that was just the beginning. “He walked across a pasture and got into a barn where he tried to saddle up two horses,” says Boaz Assistant Chief Todd Adams. “One was two wild for him and the other he appeared to be too intoxicated to properly saddle the horse.” Police say Anderson then stole a car, which he crashed. They say he then stole another car and got away. However, on Saturday police say Anderson started bleeding from his original injuries. He sought treatment back at the hospital, was recognized and then arrested. Fed Risks Losses From Bonds (WSJ) The Federal Reserve could be charting a course that leaves the highly profitable central bank with no extra income to hand over to the U.S. Treasury for several years. That is the conclusion of five Fed staff economists who examined how the central bank's bond-buying programs will affect its profitability over the long run. Right now the Fed is earning large returns on its bond portfolio and sending most of its profits to the Treasury. Several years from now, when the economy is stronger, the Fed is expected to sell bonds and raise short-term interest rates to tighten credit and restrain inflation. The group found the Fed might have to sell bonds at a loss and incur higher expenses on interest it pays to banks on the reserves they hold at the Fed. Italy Scours Deals Abroad for Elusive Tax Revenue (WSJ) Italy, which has one of the biggest tax-cheating problems in the developed world, is cracking down on suspect offshore investments as part of an unprecedented drive to find new sources of tax revenue and ease concerns about its €2 trillion ($2.69 trillion) in debt. The country just added a new property tax and is boosting its sales taxes to narrow its fiscal gap. In an effort to claw back an estimated €120 billion a year in unpaid taxes, it has limited cash payments to €1,000 so that untaxed money can't slosh around the economy without leaving a paper trail and is hunting down people who buy luxury yachts yet report little income. One of the brightest spotlights is on companies suspected of earning money or shifting it abroad to avoid paying Italian taxes. Italy netted €600 million in additional taxes last year after prosecutors pursued two cases involving money stored illicitly to Switzerland. NBA Union Chief Hunter Fires Family After Nepotism Report (Bloomberg) Billy Hunter purged family members from roles in the National Basketball Association players union that he runs after a report that criticized nepotism at the organization. The moves dismissing personnel including his daughter and daughter-in-law were disclosed in a letter from Hunter to members of a special committee of players established prior to the investigation by the law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison. A copy of the letter, dated Jan. 23, was obtained by Bloomberg News. No Twinkies 'Til September? (NYP) While bankrupt Hostess Brands is expected to select a preferred bidder for its snacks business today, regulatory approval, time needed to close the deal and then the firing up of the Twinkies manufacturing process means it’ll be early September before the spongecake treats are available at retailers, experts said. Leon Black’s Apollo Global Management and co-bidder C. Dean Metropoulos, a veteran food exec, are expected to be named the preferred bidder for Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Donettes and other Hostess snacks. Zimbabwe has $217 in the bank: finance minister (AFP) After paying public workers’ salaries last week, the balance in cash-strapped Zimbabwe’s government public account stood at just $217, Finance Minister Tendai Biti said Tuesday. “Last week when we paid civil servants there was $217 (left) in government coffers,” Biti told journalists in the capital Harare, claiming some of them had healthier bank balances than the state. “The government finances are in paralysis state at the present moment. We are failing to meet our targets.” Biti said that left no choice but to ask the donors for cash. “We will be approaching the international community,” he said.

Opening Bell: 01.28.13

Davos Money Men Say World Emerges From Doldrums Fretting Relapse (Bloomberg) “Optimism, but with a sober tone,” was how Bank of America Chief Executive Officer Brian T. Moynihan characterized the mood pervading the World Economic Forum’s annual meeting, even as investors were lifting the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index above 1,500 for the first time since 2007. Fed To Keep Money Spigot Open (WSJ) Federal Reserve officials are likely to continue their easy-money policies when they gather this week to weigh a mixed economic outlook and a recent run of low inflation. The Fed has said it would maintain its $85 billion bond-buying programs, aimed at boosting the economy by lowering long-term interest rates, until it sees substantial progress in labor markets. It has also said it would keep short-term interest rates near zero until the jobless rate drops to at least 6.5%, as long as inflation remains steady. Beneath the Calm, SAC Works to Contain Fallout From Inquiry (NYT) "This has always been a stressful place to work," said an SAC employee who requested anonymity because he was unauthorized to speak publicly about the fund. "Now it's just more stressful." Mr. Cohen's fund was dealt a blow last week when a Citigroup unit that manages money for wealthy families disclosed that it was withdrawing its $187 million investment. The move by the bank was the most prominent client departure since November, when the multiyear investigation into SAC's trading practices entered a more serious phase. Citigroup's withdrawal represents a tiny percentage of SAC's $14 billion in assets under management. The fund has said it expects total investor redemptions for the first quarter of up to $1 billion, a number that an SAC spokesman has said will not adversely affect its business...Still, the Citigroup decision stung, say peopleclose to SAC's business, because of the longstanding and lucrative relationship between the bank and the fund. Another concern, said these people, is that the move could influence other large SAC investors currently weighing whether to keep their money at the fund. For Citigroup, its withdrawal of money from SAC carries substantial business risk. The bank has a vast relationship with SAC, earning revenue by providing the fund with financing and trading services. SAC could exact retribution on Citigroup by terminating, or at least scaling back, its broader relationship with the bank. An SAC spokesman declined to comment. Credit Suisse Could Owe $2 Billion Over Fraud (Reuters) Credit Suisse Group faces a potential $2 billion of exposure over fraud that occurred a decade ago at National Century Financial Enterprises, a result of a federal judge's determination on how to apportion responsibility. Friday's decision by U.S. District Judge James Graham could expose the Swiss bank to hundreds of millions of dollars of added liability over the activities of Lance Poulsen, who co-founded National Century in 1990 and was its chief executive. He is now serving a 30-year prison term and is presumed insolvent. Goldman Raising $1 Billion From ICBC Share Sale (WSJ) The Wall Street company is selling the Hong Kong-listed shares in a block trade at 5.77 Hong Kong dollars (US$0.74) each, the people said, without disclosing the number of shares. The price represents a 3.0% discount to ICBC's HK$5.95 closing price Monday. A person familiar with the situation said the sale reflects prudent risk management on Goldman's part to reduce the size of its ICBC investment. MBA's Salary Enhancing Power Slashed (FT) Students on the top US MBA programs in the mid-1990s saw their salaries triple in five years, but those who graduated from the same schools in 2008 and 2009 saw that increase halved, according to data collected for the FT's annual Global MBA rankings. At the same time, MBA fees have risen by 7 percent a year. MBA students who enrolled in 2012 paid 62 percent more in fees - up 44 percent in real terms - than those who began their programs in 2005, even though the increases in post-MBA salaries remained in line with inflation. Beyonce has yet to apologize to Chuck Schumer for lip-syncing at inauguration (NYP) The New York senator angrily admitted yesterday that the pop queen has not called him to say sorry after she turned last week’s inaugural bash into an unexpected Milli Vanilli concert by lip-syncing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” “I have not heard from her before, during or after,” a testy Schumer told The Post after he was asked if Beyoncé had called him to give a musical mea culpa. “She did not talk to me at all. I didn’t say any words to her, period.” Schumer has been credited with drawing the pop diva and her hubby Jay-Z to the inauguration, where many said they stole the show from the president and first lady walking hand-in-hand on the steps of Capitol Hill. Schumer was seen beaming with pride just steps behind Beyoncé while she appeared to be belting out the National Anthem. Obama administration insiders and inauguration planners were in the dark about Beyoncé’s decision to use a prerecorded tape of her singing with the Marine Band during the swearing in. They were later left fuming over the embarrassment, according to reports. Some on Capitol Hill have even placed the blame on Schumer for the Star-Spangled sham. There’s a Twinkie in the eye of Apollo (NYP) Hostess Brands is expected to name Leon Black’s Apollo Global Management as the preferred bidder for Twinkies and its other snack brands, The Post has learned. The announcement from the bankrupt baker could come as soon as today, sources said. The selection of Apollo would give Manhattan buyout billionaire Leon Black the inside track to buying one of the country’s most well-known consumer brands. Black’s Apollo and co-bidder C. Dean Metropoulos, a veteran food exec, were vying with Grupo Bimbo, the Mexico-based baker, for the right to be the preferred, or stalking horse, bidder for Twinkies, Ho Ho’s, Ding Dongs and other Hostess snacks. Bank of America Moves $50 Billion of Derivatives to UK (FT) Bank of America has begun moving more than $50bn of derivatives business out of its Dublin-based operation and into its UK subsidiary, according to people close to the operation. The move, part of the group's global drive to rationalize its operations, has been encouraged by regulators but will also allow BofA to benefit from tax breaks stemming from the accumulated losses in its UK business. Singer Backs Off Aggressive Stance In Dealings With Buenos Aires (NYP) After a decade of aggressively pursuing $1.44 billion he claims the country owes him and a group of bondholders, including successfully pressing Ghana to seize a locally docked Argentine naval vessel to help pay down the debt, the billionaire New York hedge fund mogul is sounding like Bobby McFerrin in “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Singer’s Elliott Management now feels Argentina will do the right thing, according to recent court filings. It’s quite a change from last fall’s legal arguments, in which Singer urged a federal judge to hurry up and force Buenos Aires to put some of the monies owed into escrow, citing the country’s president’s plot to avoid the debt payment. Italians Have a New Tool to Unearth Tax Cheats (NYT) Despite the government's best efforts, tax evasion remains something of a pastime in Italy, where, famously, more than a few of the Ferrari-driving set claim impoverishment when it comes to declaring their incomes. So this month, not without controversy, the National Revenue Agency decided to try a new tack. Rather than attempting to ferret out how much suspected tax cheats earn, the agency began trying to infer it from how much they spend. The new tool, known as the ''redditometro,'' or income measurer, aims to minimize the wiggle room for evasion by examining a taxpayer's expenditures in dozens of categories, like household costs, car ownership, vacations, gym subscriptions, cellphone usage and clothing. If the taxpayer's spending appears to be more than 20 percent greater than the income he or she has declared, the agency will ask for an explanation. Traders Make Peace With Computers (WSJ) On a recent day on Barclays PLC's stock-trading desk in Manhattan, an electronic platform posted a notice that Barclays was selling a large block of Pfizer shares. In recent years, a computer typically would have swiftly matched such an order with a buyer, sidestepping trading floors altogether. But soft trading volume has left many traders unable to move stock as quickly as they might like. That is one reason why Barclays connected its recently launched DirectEx platform to its trading floor. The move paid off when a client who was buying 150,000 shares on the electronic network decided, after chatting with a Barclays salesman, to take an additional 150,000 shares. Woman Found with 92 Pounds of Marijuana in N. Bellmore (Patch) According to detectives, around 6 p.m., an unmarked First Precinct police car observed Mizzie Artis, 27, of Bellport, operating a 1999 Hyundai eastbound on Columbus Avenue while talking on a cell phone and not wearing a seat belt. Police then observed Artis drive to Armand Street where she met with a male subject in a minivan. As officers drove by both vehicles to further observe, the male subject fled the scene in the van, police said. Artis drove away and failed to stop at a stop sign and did not signal when turning, police said. Officers stopped Artis and, upon approaching the car, observed two large cardboard boxes in the auto. Officers also detected an odor of marijuana emanating from the vehicle. K-9 officers responded to the scene and performed a narcotic search of the vehicle. The cardboard boxes in the front seat had a positive alert for narcotics, police said. Two additional boxes were recovered from the trunk containing marijuana, bringing the total approximate weight to 92 pounds.

By Nordenfan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Opening Bell: 1.31.17

Deutsche settles mirror mess; Buffet buys stocks, gives wife colander to puke in; Saudi prince fills plane with hawks; and more.

Opening Bell: 07.20.12

Eurogroup approves Spanish banking sector bailout (Reuters) Euro zone finance ministers approved an agreement on Friday to lend up to 100 billion euros ($123 billion) to Spain so it can recapitalize its banks, but the exact size of the loan will probably only be determined in September. Yahoo To Pay Mayer $100 Million Over 5 Years (WSJ) Ms. Mayer is expected to receive around $5.4 million from Yahoo for the remainder of this year and around $20 million a year after that, though some of that amount is tied to performance targets set by the board...The Yahoo pay package includes restricted stock units valued at $14 million in order to "partially compensate" Ms. Mayer for forfeiting her compensation from Google. It also includes a one-time retention award that is valued at $15 million and will vest over five years. Morgan Stanley Joins Citigroup In Job-Cut Push Amid Slump (Bloomberg) Headcount at Morgan Stanley will decline by about 700 in the second half, bringing total 2012 staff reductions to 4,000, Chief Financial Officer Ruth Porat, 54, said yesterday in an interview. Deutsche Bank, Europe’s biggest lender by assets, is considering about 1,000 job cuts at its investment bank, while Citigroup plans to chop about 350, people with knowledge of the decisions said this week. London Fund-Raisers Put Romney in a Scandal’s Glare (NYT) The former chief executive and a top lobbyist for Barclays, the bank at the center of the scandal, helped organize a Romney fund-raiser. The former chief executive, Robert E. Diamond Jr., has since withdrawn his name as the event’s co-host. The bank’s lobbyist, Patrick J. Durkin, remains a co-chairman: he has bundled $1.1 million for Mr. Romney from friends and business associates, more than any other lobbyist, according to federal records. Nasdaq to Release Compensation Plan for Investors Hurt by Facebook IPO Mess (FBN) Nasdaq is looking to release next week the compensation plan for investors who lost out on the bungled IPO of Facebook...Sources say the deal being discussed will be all in cash, and likely above the $40 million originally proposed...Nadsaq had proposed a $40 million deal in which $27 million of it involved trading credits--a move that outraged investors and market makers who may have lost a combined $200 million or more on the botched IPO. Because of that one source says the new Nasdaq proposal could be as high a $100 million and all of it in cash. Insider Traders Face Longer Sentences As Judges Get Tough (Bloomberg) Since Jan. 1, 2011, the judges have sent the average violator to prison for more than 22 months, according to an analysis of sentencing data by Bloomberg News. That was a 20 percent increase from the average term of 18.4 months during the previous eight years. Boxer’s Bloody Nose Leads to Bank Robbery Charges (AP) Martin Tucker won his latest boxing match, but a bloody nose in the ring could send him to prison for bank robbery. The FBI said it obtained a swab used to stop the bleeding and found that DNA matched Tucker's DNA on other evidence from a 2009 robbery at Monroe County Community Credit Union in Temperance, near the Michigan-Ohio border. In a court filing, agent Robert Schmitz said he was aware of Tucker's bout in April in Toledo, Ohio, and obtained the "discarded" Q-tips swab. Tucker's DNA matched DNA from a mask believed to have been used in the robbery and from the steering wheel of the getaway car, the FBI said...Detroit FBI spokesman Simon Shaykhet declined to discuss how Schmitz got the bloody swab. Defense attorney Haytham Faraj said there seems nothing illegal about acquiring it. "We leave our fingerprints, bits of hair and skin all over the place. If you're a boxer, sometimes you leave your blood around," Faraj said in an interview Thursday. Bank of England Says New York Fed Gave No Warning on Rate-Rigging (Dealbook) The call for a review into Libor in 2008 came after Mr. King and Mr. Geithner had talked about potential problems with the rate during a meeting in Basel, Switzerland, in early May 2008. This discussion was followed by a flurry of e-mails a month later in which Mr. Geithner, who is now the Treasury secretary, recommended changes to the rate, which is used as a benchmark for more than $360 trillion financial products worldwide. The suggestions included ‘‘strengthen governance and establish a credible reporting procedure’’ and ‘‘eliminate incentive to misreport,’’ according to documents released by the New York Fed. Mr. King told Mr. Geithner that he supported the suggestions. Yet the New York Fed did not make any allegations of wrongful behavior connected to Libor, according to documents released on Friday. Mr. King told a British parliamentary committee on Tuesday that Mr. Geithner’s suggestions did not represent a warning about the potential manipulation of Libor. Geithner-Led Fed Didn’t Do Enough in Libor Scandal: Sheila Bair (CNBC) "Looking at those emails, it looks like they had pretty explicit notification of some very bad behavior, and I don't understand why they didn't investigate," Bair said today. Banks in Libor probe consider group settlement (Reuters) A group of banks being investigated in an interest-rate rigging scandal are looking to pursue a group settlement with regulators rather than face a Barclays-style backlash by going it alone, people familiar with the banks' thinking said...Barclays Plc was the first to settle with U.S. and British regulators, paying a $453 million penalty and admitting to its role in a deal announced June 27. Its chief executive, Bob Diamond, abruptly quit the next week, bowing to public pressure and erosion of the bank's reputation. The sources told Reuters that none of the banks involved now want to be second in line for fear that they will get similarly hostile treatment from politicians and the public. Rex Ryan's Biggest Loss (NYP) “My surgeon told me one time, ‘How many tacos do you eat?’ because I told him how much I love Mexican food,” Ryan recalled. “I said, ‘I probably can eat about 12 tacos.’ He’s like, ‘OK.’ Never flinched. He said by the time this is really working, you’ll eat about a half or three-quarters of a taco and that’s it. I was like, ‘Why would I want to do that?’ And he said, no, you’ll be satisfied. That’s exactly where I’m at now...I have no clothes that fit. Socks are the only things that fit. Even a hat, underwear, I’ve got to change everything.”

Opening Bell: 10.14.15

JP Morgan says trading looks bleak; Tech exec headed to Chipotle; Hedge funds' rough ride; Ex-Bank of America employee's murder trial gets date; Brooklyn taqueria will award 10% stake in business to anyone who can finish 30 pound burrito (plus margarita) in an hour; and more.

CyborgElon

Opening Bell: 10.26.17

Elon Musk can't predict the future too well; neither can Morningstar; Bill Ackman will gorge himself on Chipotle till the stock reacts; German parents attempt to name kid "Lucifer;" and more.

puerto rico flag

Opening Bell: 6.10.16

Puerto Rico debt crisis bill passes house; Whistleblower aided SEC in Deutsche probe; Man reaches day 322 of eating Chipotle every day; and more.

Opening Bell: 10.03.12

JPMorgan Rivals Face Billions in Damages After MBS Case (Bloomberg) A state-federal task force set up this year to investigate misconduct in the bundling of mortgage loans into securities will bring other cases, according to New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. Investor losses in the JPMorgan case alone will be “substantially more” than the $22.5 billion cited in his complaint, he said. “We do expect this to be a matter of very significant liability, and there are others to come that will also reflect the same quantum of damages,” Schneiderman said in an interview yesterday with Bloomberg Television’s Erik Schatzker. “We’re looking at tens of billions of dollars, not just by one institution, but by quite a few.” IMF Chief Economist Says Crisis Will Last A Decade (Reuters) FYI. Private Sector Adds 1620,000 New Jobs (WSJ) The September number was slightly above the 153,000 expected by economists. The August estimate was revised down to 189,000 from the 201,000 reported last month. Commodities' Engine Stalls (WSJ) Some investors have turned away from commodities that are heavily dependent on Chinese demand, such as base metals, cotton and soybeans. Others are searching for areas that will continue to expand no matter what happens in China, such as the U.S. natural-gas market. And some are simply getting out of commodities completely. Study Shows Baldness Can Be A Business Advantage (WSJ) Up for a promotion? If you're a man, you might want to get out the clippers. Men with shaved heads are perceived to be more masculine, dominant and, in some cases, to have greater leadership potential than those with longer locks or with thinning hair, according to a recent study out of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School. Some executives say the style makes them appear younger—or at least, makes their age less evident—and gives them more confidence than a comb-over or monk-like pate. "I'm not saying that shaving your head makes you successful, but it starts the conversation that you've done something active," says tech entrepreneur and writer Seth Godin, 52, who has embraced the bare look for two decades. "These are people who decide to own what they have, as opposed to trying to pretend to be something else." Wharton management lecturer Albert Mannes conducted three experiments to test peoples' perceptions of men with shaved heads. In one of the experiments, he showed 344 subjects photos of the same men in two versions: one showing the man with hair and the other showing him with his hair digitally removed, so his head appears shaved. In all three tests, the subjects reported finding the men with shaved heads as more dominant than their hirsute counterparts. In one test, men with shorn heads were even perceived as an inch taller and about 13% stronger than those with fuller manes. The paper, "Shorn Scalps and Perceptions of Male Dominance," was published online, and will be included in a coming issue of journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. BlackRock Leads Firms Poised to Win From Hedge Fund Ads (Bloomberg) The Jumpstart Our Business Startups Act, signed into law by President Barack Obama in April, ended a ban on the advertising of non-registered securities as part of an effort to expand funding options for startup companies. The law may give the biggest advantage to firms with trillions of dollars in assets and create a divide between asset managers that offer hedge funds, private equity and other alternatives and those that don’t, such as traditional mutual-fund companies. The Glory Days of Currency Trading Are Over: HSBC (CNBC) “In the glory days of carry, the FX market had the luxury of a clear framework for understanding and trading currencies,” the report, led by David Bloom Global Head of FX Strategy at HSBC, begins. “Life for FX market was simple. Get your interest rate calls correct, and you could both understand and trade the FX markets….In the low inflation environment, higher short rates meant a stronger currency and vice-versa…FX was beautiful. It was clear, liquid and transparent,” the report surmises. Fast forward through five years of global economic crisis and central banks ranging from the Federal Reserve to the Bank of Japan have introduced near-zero interest rates and quantitative easing in an attempt to stimulate economic growth creating “a problem for markets,” the report says. Einhorn Says No Quiero, Chipotle (NYP) In a packed conference room in Times Square yesterday, Einhorn joked that thanks to its new Cantina Bell menu, which boasts healthier options, Yum Brands’ Taco Bell is starting to “eat Chipotle’s lunch." No Joy On Wall Street (Bloomberg) “We may be on the verge of a new kind of banking crisis, and that’s a banking crisis where no one wants to own any banks as an investor,” said John Garvey, head of the financial- advisory practice at PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP in New York. “The future looks very dim.” Brooklyn assistant principal exchanged 2,919 text messages with high school student (NYDN) In a report to schools Chancellor Dennis Walcott, Richard Condon, special commissioner of investigation for the New York City School District, revealed other students witnessed questionable behavior by Del Re. The students claimed they saw Del Re playing with the young woman’s hair and leaving the Manhattan Beach school’s parking lot with her in his car. Both Del Re and the student in question told investigators that their relationship never went beyond texting and talking. “Del Re said that he never touched” the student, according to Condon’s report. Investigators examined Del Re’s cell phone and found he had texted the girl 1,442 times between Nov. 2, 2011, and Jan. 31, while the student texted him 1,477 times. It averages out to 1.3 text messages per hour between them for 91 days.