Wells Fargo In No Particular Rush To Address Major Issue Behind Fraud Scandal

Seriously, WTF is even going on over there?

Let's play a game.

The last chairman AND CEO of Wells Fargo?

The last chairman AND CEO of Wells Fargo?

You're John Stumpf, CEO of Wells Fargo. In the last 5 days you've seen your once pristine bank dragged by its own hands into perhaps the dumbest and most loathsome scandal since the mortgage crisis, disclosed that you've let go of 5,300 employees as a result, paid the largest fine in the history of a government agency created to taunt you, and it appears you've been caught likely paying the executive who oversaw this clusterfuck $125 million to go away.

Basically, your life is so desparately shitty right now that you're probably jealous of how easy Brian Moynihan and John Cryan have it.

So what do you do to unravel this disaster as quickly as possible allowing yourself to scarf down the shit enchilada in front of you and move on? Maybe you look at the sales culture that created such rabid behavior and do something swift and drastic, a sacrifice to the PR gods who have whooping your soft ass for almost a week now? A minor dismantling of what helped to create this major mess wouldn't just be good for you, it would be good for the banking industry as a whole, giving you and your fellow CEOs breathing room before the hurricane of rhetoric about to rain down on you from the mouths of Elizabeth Warren and Sherrod Brown.

Your move....

Wells Fargo & Co, the largest U.S. bank by market capitalization, said on Tuesday it would eliminate all product sales goals in retail banking, starting next year.

"Next year"?!?!

We don't want to play anymore because you suck at this game.

Wells Fargo to end sales goals for retail bankers [Reuters]