What Sort Of Non-Cash Bonuses Should Deutsche Bank Pay Its Employees This Year?

Money is tight, so the bank's gotta think outside the box.
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Over the summer, Deutsche Bank released the results of a sad/hilarious survey that revealed over half of its employees are embarrassed to tell people they work at Deutsche Bank. With morale in the toilet, one of the ways companies generally attempt to cheer people up/make them slightly less ashamed to be associated with the place is to boost pay and/or bonuses. Unfortunately, money is a bit tight at Deutsche Bank right now. So tight, in fact, that not only will employees not be getting a little extra in their pockets, but they may not be getting cash bonuses AT ALL.

Deutsche Bank AG, Europe’s biggest investment bank, is exploring alternatives to paying bonuses in cash as Chief Executive Officer John Cryan seeks to boost capital buffers and shore up investor confidence, according to people familiar with the matter.
Executives at the German lender have informally discussed options including giving some bankers shares in the non-core unit instead of cash bonuses, said the people, who asked not to be identified because the deliberations are private. Another idea under review is replacing the cash component with more Deutsche Bank stock, they said. The supervisory board may discuss the topic of variable pay at a meeting on Wednesday though no final decisions are expected, the people said, the day before it reports third-quarter earnings. The measures, if pursued in the coming months, would mostly impact the investment bank, the people said. The Frankfurt-based lender is still considering other alternatives, they said.

Alternatives being floated presumably include:

  • Beatings
  • Samsung Galaxy 7s
  • Glowing recommendations for jobs at other banks
  • Tickets to the John Cryan dunk tank

Deutsche Bank Said to Weigh Alternatives to Cash Bonus Payments [Bloomberg]

Related

Bonus Watch '13: Deutsche Bank Is Mulling Over The Idea Of Paying A Li'l Less This Year, Would Appreciate Rivals Throwing Them A Bone And Doing The Same

The Germans might take an ax to bonuses, cutting them by 20 percent, or they might not. According to CEO Anshu Jain, what it may come down to is whether or not other banks will help him out here by getting on board with the proposed reductions, as it would make DB look bad to be the only firm doling out tough love this year. Thanks in advance.