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Welp, President Trump Has Already Ruined A Tequila IPO

You can thank YouKnowWho for preventing you from buying shares in Jose Cuervo.

Let's take a deep breath, step back, look at piece of factual data that cuts through the thick cloud of partisan rancor surrounding us all...and emotionally blame Donald Trump for something crazy!


Mexico's Jose Cuervo, the world's biggest tequila producer, has delayed its planned initial public offering and will wait until after the U.S. presidential election before going ahead, three people familiar with the matter said on Wednesday.

Well WAY TO GO, you navel orange-looking dreamkiller!

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the three people said concern about market volatility around the Nov. 8 U.S. election meant that Cuervo had decided to postpone the listing, which they said had been scheduled for this month.

You fucked up a tequila IPO almost as bad as two-thirds of your older children! Do you know how badly the markets needed a tequila IPO? Do you? If the PR folks over at Cuervo had handled it correctly, people could have gotten shit-faced enough after the open bell to buy shares in Deutsche Bank, or even Etsy (we miss you, Etsy)!

Oh, are you going to deny this was you?!?!

The U.S. election campaign has roiled markets in Mexico, with some investors apprehensive about the consequences in the event of a win by Republican White House candidate Donald Trump, who has fired off a series of verbal broadsides against Mexico and its economy.
Trump has vowed to build a wall on the border with Mexico that he says he would make Mexico pay for and threatened to scrap the North American Free Trade Agreement if he wins, as well as berating U.S. firms that invest in Mexico.

Yeah, so thanks a lot. We almost had a fun IPO to snark about in a dry and boring IPO environment. But then you had to go and make things weird with the neighbors.

DAMMIT! You think this job is easy?!?!

It almost makes us want to go out and get drunk. But not on Cuervo, that stuff's nasty.

Getting into U.S. election spirit, Jose Cuervo postpones IPO: sources [Reuters]



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