Snapchat IPO Will Let You Put Cute Filters On Your Money And Then Watch It Disappear

Oh, we've missed these.
Author:
Publish date:

Everyone's favorite sexting app turned maybe possibly world-dominating media platform is reportedly going to make an honest unicorn out of itself at last...

SnapchatIPO

Snap Inc. is working on an initial public offering that could value the popular virtual-messaging company at $25 billion or more, in what would be one of the highest-profile debuts in years.
The company, formerly known as Snapchat, is preparing the paperwork for an IPO with a view toward selling the shares as early as late March, according to several people familiar with the matter. There is no guarantee the four-year-old Venice, Calif., company will proceed with a share sale on that time frame or what its valuation might be.

That's right kiddos, big sexy tech IPOs are BACK! It feels like forever since we've seen huge valuation numbers thrown at companies that the vast majority of Wall Street only vaguely understands.

Like, how long has it been since you've seen something like this in the WSJ?:

In 2015, the company generated just $60 million in revenue. It isn’t clear whether Snap is profitable.

So good.

And even better is the notion that financial services professionals are about to start going apeshit over defining how to value a company created to make sexting safer and which now does... advertising? Social media marketing? Customized investment strategy advising? Hahaha... who fucking knows? Let's get this thing listed!!!

In fact, the rumors of what Snap would do with profits from an IPO don't seem that different from watching a nouveau riche tween geek hitting the dream mall after downing a speedball and case of Red Bull...

Snap could use some of the proceeds from an IPO as currency for acquisitions in so-called augmented-reality or virtual-reality, one of the people said. Snap recently changed its name from Snapchat as it moves from the main app for which it is known, which makes virtual messages disappear and is especially popular with teenagers. As part of that transformation, Snap recently said it would release its first hardware product, sunglasses known as Spectacles that are equipped with a wireless video camera.

Well that's... what's the opposite of clarifying?

And in keeping with the beautifully balls-out vaingloriousness of Snapchat's "business plan," the company is pumping up their IPO while running around bank-less.

Snap hasn’t hired any banks as it works on a public filing, known as an S-1, people familiar with the matter said.

Somewhere at 200 West Street there are more than a few people reading those words and giggling, but we would love to be in the room when the brozillionaire extrordinaire that is Snap CEO Evan Spiegel sits down with his bankers in the next few week and "talks big picture."

The future's so bright, we've got to wear...hideous Spectacles made by Snapchat, because maybe that's what the company does now.

Snapchat Parent Working on IPO Valuing Firm at $25 Billion or More [WSJ]

Related