April 10, 2013: Steve Cohen lists his One Beacon Court apartment, which he bought in 2005 for $24 million, for $115 million. This would represent a 379.16% return. The East 58th Street pad is a hike from Central Park and comes with no outdoor space of its own, but it does include 9,000 square feet and servants' quarters. The Big Guy and his reps presumably figure a bidding war will ensue.
January 2, 2014: With no bites at the $115 million price tag, Cohen slashes his ask to $98 million. It'd only be 308% return but at a mere 11-figures it'll practically sell itself, the thinking probably went.
December 15, 2014: No, seriously, what is wrong with you people? Are you trying to hurt him? Well congratulations, you've succeeded. Fine. $82 million.
June 2015: IS THE WHOLE WORLD OUT TO GET STEVE COHEN? Sure feels that way. And not just the idiot would-be buyers who take a pass, his brokers too, who he fired and replaced. But it turns out the new guys couldn't get the job done either. APARTMENT IS TAKEN OFF THE MARKET.
July 2015: He goes to $79 million, a price point at which he assumes his maid can buy the place.
March 2016: He takes the property off the market, again, because none of you deserve it.
April 2016: He thoroughly debases himself, dropping the asking price to $72 million.
October 14, 2016: Give us a minute, this is too painful.
The mansion in the sky is now up for grabs for $67.5 million — down $4.5 million from its last listing price.