Steve Cohen Still Deciding If He'll Bury SEC HQ With T-Shirts Reading "Open For Biz, MFers" On 1/1/18

And if he'll get that soft American Apparel stuff or cheap out.
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For most of you, January 1, 2018 is probably a date you've given little thought. For hedge fund manager Steve Cohen, it's a date that is seared onto the forefront of his brain and which he's all but picked out the font for the 1/1/18 tattoo he's going to have inked across his chest if he hasn't gotten the job done already. For Cohen, January 1, 2018 means two things:

1. It's the day his SEC ban on managing outside money expires.
2. It's the first day in a series of days in which he plans prove to the world that he can achieve huge returns sans material non-public information.

At some point, when he feels enough time has passed that he's proven himself to be a guy investors can turn to when they want to turn a lot of money into a metric f*ckton of money, and that he can do it while staying within the confines of the law, he'll invite all the various regulators who spent the better part of a decade trying to nail him to a gala dinner at the Waldorf Astoria, where he'll descend from the ceiling in a harness and fly across the room to the tune of "How You Like Me Now?" and then have security throw everyone out while he, Guy Fieri, and his closest advisers will feast on Super Duper Weenie.

First, though, he has to actually decide to manage outside money again. And while starting a new investment firm that has already begun to meet with potential clients is a good indication that's what he plans to do, the Big Guy is still playing coy:

“I think we’re leaning that way,” Mr. Cohen, 60, said in a recent interview at his office in Stamford, Conn. “But we haven’t made a final decision.” Mr. Cohen, considered by many to be one of the most successful stock traders of his generation, said he expected to make that decision in the next three to four months.

Sure, he's working with a choreographer to put the finishing touches on his dance to "You Don't Own Me" he'll tap out as Preet et al are escorted out of his "I'm Back B*tches" dinner but he hasn't made any final decisions yet.

Inside Billionaire Steve Cohen’s Comeback [Fortune]
Steven Cohen May Return to Hedge Fund Industry When Ban Expires [Dealbook]

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