So far, the Trump Transition Team's search for a new Treasury Secretary has given off sensations of shock, excitement, joy, fear and another undefinable emotion that we can best describe as being reminiscent of how burning hair smells.
But yesterday Bloomberg gave us a new lease on life. Something that could allow our days to retain meaning should fate and evil conspire to rob us of what we rightfully deserve (#DraftDimon). A proposition so batshit that the little hairs on our arms stand on end. A notion that makes us here at Dealbreaker quiver with anticipation, suddenly possessed by an emotion that lies somewhere beyond Schadenfruede:
Can you spot it?
Trump returned to New York after spending the weekend receiving a parade of visitors at his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey, including at least three potential Treasury secretary candidates with deep Wall Street experience: billionaire investor Wilbur Ross; Jonathan Gray, global head of real estate at Blackstone Group; and David McCormick, president of the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates.
Wilbur Ross is old news and Jon Gray is too borderline "sensical" to intrigue us, so let's talk about the real amazing shit in here: A Bridgewater exec running the Treasury Department.
Allow us to be radically transparent for a moment... YES PLEASE!
For a "funny" Wall Street blog, the notion of a Ray Dalio acolyte becoming the most powerful regulator in American finance is like waking up on a bed strewn wit money next to a young Sophia Loren hoding five adorable puppies while Sade sings in the corner. It's DOPE!
But what would that even look like? Would McCormick move the Treasury Department into the Virginia woods? Would everyone have to wear plaid button-downs with fleece vests and be totally honest that they believe President Trump couldn't find Alpha if it was under his own combover? Would he make different working groups compete in iron man races around the perimeter of the ultra-modern new HQ, thus fostering an aura of balls-out competition designed to break peoples' spirit? Would we have to change the Treasury Department's motto to "The US Treasury: It's Not For Everybody" but in Latin? We can just see McCormick walking into the Oval Office on his first day and handing Trump a worn copy of "Principles" before doing POTUS the ultimate favor and bluntly informing him that things are going to go a lot more smoothly if he commits it all to memory.
So, while we will never abandon Saint Jamie of Dimon we will admit to being more than a little intrigued by the notion of making The US Treasury feel a little more Dalio.