The Trump Transition Team's search for a new US Treasury Secretary has been a breathtaking carnival of rumors, double games and general chaos. And just when we thought that the whole affair couldn't get more strange, it breaks through the fourth wall and into the realm of the absurd.
Remember a few months back when we all kind of thought that the idea of a Trump presidency was a loony impossibility? And we were all giggly building a potential cabinet for him? One that had not just a Henry Kravis-type, but actual Henry Kravis as Treasury Secretary? Oh and remember how Henry Kravis said that the notion of Henry Kravis as America's top financial regulator was "Scary?"
Ah, sigh, those were the days...
From yesterday's NYPost:
Henry Kravis has spoken to President-elect Donald Trump about being Treasury secretary, The Post has learned.
The conversation took place after Trump beat Hillary Clinton on Nov. 8, two sources close to the situation said.
Oy vey. And let us guess, like the other assorted famous names that Trump is considering, Kravis is also thirsty AF for the gig?
“He wants the job,” a source close to Trump said on Thursday.
Does he want it as badly as Jamie Dimon though?
Listen, Henry Kravis is not going to be the next Treasury Secretary because even in this alternate reality it is too batshit to have the real-life Gordon Gekko in charge of curbing greed and excess in our financial system. And more importantly, Kravis doesn't want the job, no matter how much amateur media gaslighting Team Trump tries on him. Henry Kravis would go insane running Treasury because Henry Kravis is the charmingly irascible outlaw, he's not the sheriff.
But leaking Kravis' name now (and let's be honest about why this item in the New York Post on November 17th), says so much about what is going inside the Trump treasury search. It's no secret that Trump loved the 80's, so names like Kravis and Carl Icahn were always going to be on the tip of his psyche, but he'd be better off nominating Michael Douglas in a big Italian power suit with his hair slicked back. No one really wants this gig right now (put your hand down, Mnuchin), and Trump is doing the only thing he knows how to do, trying to pass off something crappy as a luxury item by pretending that rich people want it.
And while we know we sound like a broken record - but we're going to keep playing the same song until everyone starts singing along - all of this just makes it more and more obvious that Trump and or the current administration needs to draft Jamie Dimon to take over Treasury. He does want it about as badly as Kravis, and many on the left are arguing that his professional past is as dark as Henry's (it's not, that's dumb), but let's step back and take a look at the list of names other than Kravis that have been floated for the job so far:
- Steven Mnuchin: His time working for Goldman Sachs and George Soros are somehow the least of his problems.
- Jeb Hensarling: A member of Congress whose name is more immediately synonymous pro-bank than Michael Corbat's.
- Gerry Parsky: Oh, you don't know about this guy? Allow us to help.
- Carl Icahn: He's Carl fucking Icahn.
- Jamie Dimon: 77th Secretary of the US Treasury21st Century Hamilton He could do it.
Look at that list... feel stoned yet?