JPMorgan Will Pay $200M Fine For China Hiring Scandal, Paving The Way For Jamie Dimon To Become Treasury Secretary

What? We're just connecting the dots here, bro.
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It looks like JPMorgan is tired of pointing out the to the Justice Department and the SEC that all those times they hired the children of top Chinese officials were a totally innocent coincidence, so they're gonna go ahead and just write a huge check so everyone will shut up about it already.

DraftDimon

U.S. authorities are preparing to announce as soon as Thursday that JPMorgan Chase & Co. will pay about $200 million to settle allegations that it hired children of Chinese decision makers to win business, according to people familiar with the matter.
The agreement would end a nearly three-year investigation into whether the hires violated U.S. anti-bribery laws. The highly publicized probe set off a debate on Wall Street over whether U.S. business standards should be applied in foreign countries and whether favors to influential officials amounted to criminal activity.

Cool, so that's over. Now JPM can focus on more important shit, like figuring out how Marianne Lake is going to redecorate Jamie Dimon's office once he moves to DC to run the Treasury Department BECAUSE THAT IS TOTALLY HAPPENING.

#DraftDimon

JPMorgan to Settle China Hiring Probe as Soon as Thursday [Bloomberg]

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