A few minutes ago, our pal Charlie Gasparino jumped on the Fox Business airwaves and dropped a huge cup of "What the fuck?" on the #DraftDimon movement.
According to Gaspo, a "dark horse" candidate has emerged in the Trump transition team's search for a Treasury Secretary... a super-duper surprise name that literally almost no one has ever heard before.
Per Charlie's sources, Aurora Capital Management founder Gerry Parsky was in Trump Tower talking to transition team officials this very afternoon, making him the third option to falling star Steven Mnuchin and (the obvious choice) Jamie Dimon. Apparently Charlie does not see Jeb Hensarling as still in the game.
Who the fuck is Gerry Parsky and is he qualified, you ask? Well...
According to his bio on the Aurora Capital website, Parsky served in the Treasury already, in the International Affairs group from 1974 to 1977. So rest assured that Gerry has definite Treasury experience...in Cold War economic policy. But to be fair he also did some work in the Middle East, like playing a key role in the secret deal with Saudi Arabia to trade Saudi oil for American guns and then fill the US Treasury with petrodollars.
After Treasury he went to work as a Partner at Gibson Dunn before founding his hedge fund in 1991 where he made millions on real estate and junk bonds. So Parsky aslo has experience in both BigLaw and risky asset management. Gerry Parsky is a Triple Threat!
But let's not forget Parsky's other pursuits. He lists his time as a regent of the University of California, a noble 12 years that he spent apparently gutting the system's pension account. Here is some reporting on the pension account from 2007:
Wilshire, Parsky, and the Regents' Investment Committee farmed out control of the investment fund to an army of pension consultants and money management firms, ending the decades-long practice of using university staff to trade stocks themselves. Along the way, they humiliated and destroyed the reputation of Patricia Small, the UC treasurer who had managed the investments for years and strenuously opposed their plans. Billions of dollars in stock were bought and sold in the midst of a massive stock market crash.
Seven years later, what was once one of the most lucrative pension plans in America is in desperate trouble. Before Parsky and his colleagues restructured the investment strategy, the university's fund easily made more money than the average pension plan. Now, it ranks among the country's worst performers. Before Parsky's reforms, the university paid nothing to outside money management companies, aside from a small venture capital arm. Last year, the UC treasurer's office paid at least $32 million to forty different money management companies whose investment advice may have cost the fund billions of dollars.
He could have at least put some of this money into Saudi oil investments.
We're not saying that Gerry Parsky isn't a good candidate for Treasury Secretary, we're just saying that his confirmation hearing would be amazing political theatre. Like watching a version of Zelig, but about bad moments in American economic decision-making with Elizabeth Warren as co-star.
Oh, and #DraftDimon.