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Opening Bell: 11.18.16

"Princeling" hiring practices exposed; Henry Kravis got Trump cabinet call; nuns win battle against strip club; and more.
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J.P. Morgan Settlement Lays Bare the Practice of Hiring ‘Princelings’ (WSJ)

One candidate was described in an email as “the worst [business analyst] candidate they had ever see[n].” Another had a “napping habit” that would be an “eye-opening experience” for New York colleagues. In both instances, the candidates were hired, according to criminal and civil settlements

Trump reached out to Kravis about Treasury secretary job (NYPost)

Henry Kravis has spoken to President-elect Donald Trump about being Treasury secretary, The Post has learned. Trump mentioned Kravis, a billionaire private equity pioneer, as a potential Treasury secretary before winning the election — but the head of KKR & Co. has not been mentioned publicly since. “He wants the job,” a source close to Trump said on Thursday.

Trump Victory Sparks Hedge-Fund Bonanza (WSJ)

Traders last week broadly welcomed Mr. Trump’s victory, believing it would bolster infrastructure spending and growth. But many are now chalking up large profits thanks to the sharp moves in bond yields and currencies in the wake of the election result. Funds that have fared well include some of the biggest names in the European hedge fund space including Brevan Howard and Rubicon Fund Management LLP.

Deutsche Bank Eyes Bonus Clawback For Former Bosses (FT)

Germany’s biggest bank has over the past three years frozen deferred bonus payments for close to a dozen current and former executives who served on its management board in recent years. The bank’s supervisory board has now asked a law firm to look into whether it can make former executives forfeit both frozen and unvested bonus awards from previous years in light of the bank’s vast litigation costs that stem from their time in charge, according to people briefed on the matter.

Hensarling Could Be Wall Street’s Best Hope or Worst Nightmare (BBG)

Passing Hensarling’s bill wouldn’t necessarily free large banks from the handcuffs Washington put on them after the financial crisis, unless lenders want to take the unappealing step of raising hundreds of billions of dollars in new capital. The Republican also has a strong populist streak, has been perceived by Wall Street as unyielding on policy positions and almost always colors his criticism of Dodd-Frank as a failed attempt to do away with too-big-to-fail banks.

JPMorgan Has Clutch Of CEO Understudies, People Guessing On Winner (Reuters)

There are six key members of Dimon's management team who are often mentioned in discussions about succession. Each has some qualities Dimon has identified as necessary for the next CEO – like moving through senior roles in different parts of the company, having experience with the investment bank, or having the temperament to be the public face of JPMorgan – but none clearly has them all.

Americans Are Spending A Lot More At Banks In Ways They Can’t See (FT)

One way of interpreting this: banks have made a lot of money off of consumers in the past few years by failing to adjust the interest rates they pay by changes in market conditions and by failing to adjust the interest rates they charge by changes in default risk. The net effect has been a boom in implied spending with almost no increase in the value of the service provided. Whether this can continue is anyone’s guess.

Trump Touted A Ford Factory Staying In The US As An Election Win — But It Was Never Leaving (BI)

“I worked hard with Bill Ford to keep the Lincoln plant in Kentucky,” Trump tweeted. “I owed it to the great State of Kentucky for their confidence in me!” But there's one problem: Ford never planned to move its Louisville, Kentucky plant to Mexico. Ford originally had plans to shift production of its Lincoln MKC vehicle from its Louisville plant to Mexico, according to The Courier-Journal, but the shift was not expected to affect employment levels at the plant.

Nuns Shut Down Strip Club (Chicago Sun-Times)

The prayers of the Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo have been answered: Village officials have revoked the liquor license for the strip club next door to their convent. The nuns sent investigators into the club to gather evidence, and have said the lap dances inside the club qualify as prostitution — “that is, the solicitation of physical contact for purpose of sexual arousal or gratification.”


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Opening Bell: 12.7.16

Big fine for JPMorgan; Citi trader pounded the Pound; nude cop hijinks; and more.


Opening Bell: 11.4.16

Pensions spring for sex shops and sewage; election triggers Wall Street bros; Paulson's hedge fund reeling on pharma bets; RedtTube's election prediction; and more.

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Opening Bell: 4.7.17

JPMorgan-GE romance could be ending; Julian Robertson kills his darlings; farewell to Don Rickles; and more.

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Opening Bell: 12.15.17

JPMorgan likes the look of that there stock market; Deutsche Bank misses having the dirtiest bank in the world as its customer; maybe low wages lead to slow productivity, not vice versa?; finance bros dig crystals now; and more.

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Opening Bell: 1.30.17

JPMorgan borrows a page from Amazon; John Taylor returns; French hamsters are taking up cannibalism; and more.


Opening Bell: 11/17/16

Theranos bleeds whistleblower dry, JPMorgan pays up over hiring princelings, Bill Gates takes a "giant whiff" of shit, and much more.

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Opening Bell: 11.16.16

"Political pressure" at the Fed; Chiasson back in business; Buffet bounce for airline stocks; “penile strangulation”; and more.


Opening Bell: 12.13.16

How will Gary Cohn fill his post-Goldman void? Will Trump live-tweet the FOMC meeting? How does one blow $2 million on boats and strippers? And more.