Bill Gross’ Mustache May Be Coming Back

Billy G is back on the market, ladies.

Author:
Jon Shazar
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Dec 8, 2016

Because his wife of 31 years (and enemy of his whiskers) is going away. Like so many (all?) of his co-workers, Sue Gross has found irreconcilable differences with the Triple Crown of Newport Beach.

The wife of Pacific Investment Management Co. co-founder Bill Gross is seeking a divorce.
Sue Gross said the couple have “irreconcilable differences” in a petition filed Nov. 22 in Los Angeles state court.

No word as to whether the petition was scrawled on a cocktail napkin.

Pimco Co-Founder Bill Gross’s Wife Files for Divorce [Bloomberg]

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Has there ever been a person in your life you didn't realize how much meant to you 'til they were gone? Who you would have treated better if you'd known your final day with was your last? Who you would have begged to stay? Who you assumed would be back eventually but as the weeks, months, and years crept on forced you to come to the hard realization that the next and only time you'd see them would be in your dreams, because they were never coming back? Whose permanent absence, once finally accepted it, hit you like a ton of bricks? Then you know how people involved with Bill Gross's Mustache feel today. Once a daily presence on the PIMCO manager's face, the BGM went away for a while but it was assumed not for good because how could that be? Why would that be? It felt impossible. Then this happened: Bloomberg's Tom Keene: When does the mustache come back? Gross: Never. My wife has finally adjusted, so it's not coming back. If you never got to say a proper good-bye, if you would have done things differently, if you feel like the wind's been knocked out of you, if you can't bear the thought of being alone tonight, join us as we light a candle in memoriam. Bill Gross's mustache in deep contemplation Bill Gross's mustache in an insane asylum Bill Gross's mustache mustache so stoned it can't feel its face Bill Gross's angry mustache! Bill Gross's suicidal mustache Bill Gross's mustache undressing you with its mind ... Pimco's Gross on Financial Repression, ETF, Greece [Bloomberg]

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That sound you hear is Mo El-Erian slow clapping until his hands bleed.