Skip to main content

UPDATE: Call The Close: Nice Round Number Edition

  • Author:
  • Updated:
(marolse3 via eBay.)

Highly available; somewhat less collectible. Source: marolse3 via eBay.

With the Electoral College formalities out of the way and the other signs of the coming apocalypse firmly in the 24-hours-ago rearview mirror, the Santa Trump rally is rolling on—and rolling on to a very satisfying arbitrary figure with four zeroes in it, the progress towards which is being obsessively tracked by the Journal in Abe Vigoda mortality fashion. And yet we are not partying like its 1999, which was the last time we enjoyed such a milestone.

When first approached by The Wall Street Journal on Monday, a NYSE spokesman said there were no festivities or official gear on tap for Dow 20000. On Wednesday morning, the spokesman said the exchange decided in the past day or so to make “some” hats, but no major celebration was planned and no celebrity guests were lined up….

Mr. Tyburski was 19 on March 29, 1999, and remembers the photos of traders donning blue commemorative Dow 10000 hats. As the stock index hovered above 18000 earlier this fall, he scoured the internet and was shocked to find a bear market for Dow 20000 merchandise.

One night in late October, he and his neighbor Jeff Coons, 51, drank a couple of Sierra Nevada beers and hatched a plan: buy some trucker hats, embroider “Dow 20,000” on them, and rake in the gains….

So far, Messrs. Tyburski and Coons say sales of their new hats are falling short of expectations. Since first listing the caps on eBay on Nov. 11, they had sold 37 as of Wednesday morning.

We’re not 100% sure why there’s not quite as big a market for “Dow 20,000” hats as two guys from Arkansas thought. Maybe it’s that the NYSE floor is a ghost town compared to those irrationally exuberant pre-millennial just-before-the-tech-bubble-burst days 17 years ago. Maybe it’s the financial crisis PTSD. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we’re likely to be seeing Dow 20K with some frequency over the next 14 years, especially after the 17,000-point drop outlined by this Nostradamus.

Whatever the reason for the malaise, we here at Dealbreaker aren't going to sit around and let this heroic human achievement go unmarked. So call the close: Just how high above (or far below) the magic number will we be at 4 p.m. EST? Winner gets to celebrate the achievement and this moment by lording a precious, coveted Dealbreaker Banker Bag over his or her friends and colleagues. (If you want a hat, it’s your $14.50.) As always, Standard Price is Right rules: closest to today’s Dow close without going over wins. Guesses in by 3:45 p.m. EST. Contest only kicks in after the 20,000 dam is first breached. If the Dow doesn't hit 20K intraday, we'll do this again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

UPDATE (4:04 p.m.): And we'll be back tomorrow!

It’s Almost Dow 20000: Where’s the Party? Where Are the Hats? [WSJ]
Has the Dow Hit 20000 Yet? [WSJ]
We May See Dow 20000 Again (and Again and Again) [WSJ]
Dow 2,843 Anyone? [WSJ]


(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call The Close: Dow 19,999.63 Edition

If the Dow hitting 20,000 is fundamentally arbitrary and meaningless then so is human existence.

(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call the Close: Dow 20,000, Take Two

You people better get to work.


Call The Close: Well This Is Fun, Isn’t It?

You wanted volatility? You got it! Now guess how much.

Florida Memory [No restrictions], via Wikimedia Commons

Call The Close: Turkey Days

What, is this not how you wanted to spend your holiday week?