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Call the Clo…. Oh, F@ck It

You BLEW it!
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Getty Images

Getty Images

It’s becoming abundantly clear that we’re going to have a 19,900-ish Christmas.

At this point, the 100-or-so point jump required looks more like 10,000. No one’s around and those that are ain’t trading. There’s no yuletide cheer, except maybe for those guys selling the Dow 20K hats, who may get a few extra weeks/months/years to sell a few dozen more of the fashion accessory no one, it seems, needs to have.

Market activity has quieted ahead of the Christmas holidays, with volumes trailing off and stocks, currencies and government bonds trading in narrow ranges. The Dow industrials moved just 44.6 points between their high and low on Wednesday—marking their narrowest trading range since Nov. 26, 2014, according to the WSJ Market Data Group.

“With just two sessions until the Christmas break, few traders want to open new positions,” said Lee Wild, stockbroker at Interactive Investor.

Well, we here at Dealbreaker can take off early for the holidays, too. So until the traders start showing some gumption again, FIRST POST-20K CALL THE CLOSE CONTEST IS OFF. Christmas is cancelled. (Hannukah is still on.) Santa Trump has left the building. See you on the other side of Boxing Day.

U.S. Stocks Inch Lower [WSJ]


(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call the Close: Dow 20,000, Take Two

You people better get to work.

(marolse3 via eBay.)

UPDATE: Call The Close: Nice Round Number Edition


(marolse3 via eBay.)

Call The Close: Dow 19,999.63 Edition

If the Dow hitting 20,000 is fundamentally arbitrary and meaningless then so is human existence.


Call The Close: Well This Is Fun, Isn’t It?

You wanted volatility? You got it! Now guess how much.

Florida Memory [No restrictions], via Wikimedia Commons

Call The Close: Turkey Days

What, is this not how you wanted to spend your holiday week?