Deutsche Bank Seeks To Ruin Goldman Sachs' Best Week Ever By Upgrading Its Rating On Goldman Sachs - Dealbreaker

Deutsche Bank Seeks To Ruin Goldman Sachs' Best Week Ever By Upgrading Its Rating On Goldman Sachs

Through the miasma of his own tears, Cryan admits that Lloyd is doing a nice little job over there.
Author:
Updated:
Original:

Goldman Sachs is sliding back in its rightful place as the ever-ascendant ruler of the universe, manspreading again on its gilded throne once again as PEOTUS Trump staffs his Wall Street-friendly cabinet with binders full of Goldman alums and Lloyd begins to color tab which parts of Dodd-Frank he'd like to see incinerated on Jan. 21, 2017.

Cryan.CalmDown

Aside from Lloyd Solo potentially losing his Chewbacca to the new administration, there is nothing that can stop senior Goldmen from strutting around 200 West Street like the cocks of the walk. Goldman can finally stop pretending that it every stopped being "Government Sachs" and we can all go back to trembling in its presence.

Nobody can fuck up this feeling....

In a note to clients on Tuesday, a Deutsche Bank AG team led by analyst Matt O'Connor hiked 2017's earnings-per-share estimates and price targets across the 17 U.S. financial institutions it covers, and upgraded Goldman to 'buy' from 'hold,' making Steven Mnuchin's former employer one of its top bank picks.

Wow...ouch.

Putting a Deutsche 'buy' on a hot stock? That's like filling Usain Bolt's running shoes with cement.

You cold as hell, John Cryan...You ICE cold.

Deutsche Bank Makes a Big, Bullish Call on Goldman Sachs [Bloomberg]

Related

JohnCryan.Gimp

John Cryan Inspires Masochists Everywhere By Leaving Door Open To Staying At Deutsche Bank

Kink is really the only possible explanation for why Cryan would keep doing this to himself.

Cryan.CalmDown

Deutsche Bank To Try Reshuffling The Deck Chairs On "The Teutonic"

Cryan's IPO of last resort will be paired with a fun round of "senior executive musical chairs."

CryanBonusPool

Analyst Downgrades Deutsche Bank To "Basically Fucked"

Autonomous pretty certain that the fall of The House of Cryan is nigh.

santacryan

Markets So Relieved By French Election Results That Even Deutsche Bank Is Having A Good Day

Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.

Cryan.Dante

Deutsche Bank Survivors Now Devoting Their Lives To Saving The Next Generation From Deutsche Bank

Even John Cryan would be hard-pressed to disagree that working at Deutsche Bank is bad for you.