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Apple Revises Q1 Guidance Citing Chinese Trade And iPhone Sales As Things That Suck

Tim Cook looking to make his problem into everybody's problem.

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Larry Kudlow Explains To CNBC That Trump's Comments On The Fed Are Totally Fine If You Just Ignore Them Like Larry Does

"Listen, Jimmy and Carl, you just put your fingers in your earholes like so, and then hum really loud until your brain fills with sound..."

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The Stock Market Is Just "Taking A Little Pause," Says The Actual President Of The United States Of America

The primary mechanism through which capital flows in our economy just needs a little time-out, you guys, says a man who quotes Wells Fargo on purpose.