In this strange year of our Lord 2017, it has become imperative that equity traders monitor Twitter dot com for potential tweets from president-elect Trump targeting publicly traded companies for judgment, good or ill (try explaining that sentence to 2005 you). Not that every trading desk on Wall Street has to have some bespoke algorithm to launching trades each time Trump tweets – it's just something to keep tabs on.
But in their cruelty and malevolence, executives at Morgan Stanley and JPMorgan continue to withhold the joys of the blue bird from their traders. In a story exploring the various ways speculators have tried to beat the market on Trump tweets, the Wall Street Journal uncovers this sad state of affairs:
Banks are in some cases being forced to rethink what has been a chilly relationship with social media. Bruce Klaw, an assistant professor at the University of Denver and former white-collar crime attorney, said recent scandals involving rigging of the London interbank offered rate have led banks to restrict the use of the internet and personal devices while at work.
There is a financial motive behind the restrictions, as well. “You don’t want your traders who you’re paying a ton of money to be on Twitter all day,” he added. Many large-bank employees are blocked from visiting Twitter.com while in the office. At some institutions such as J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. and Morgan Stanley, traders typically use their Bloomberg screens to track tweets.
It's true that Twitter is a horrendous time- and attention-sink that in all likelihood would measurably diminish bank profits. But forcing traders to keep up with tweets through a Bloomberg terminal just seems sadistic.
But luckily, Bloomberg has made sure to keep its clients plugged into Trump's tweets, even if they can't long onto Twitter. Here's what that looks like:
Just a neat, clean display, free of gifs, trolls and clickbait. What a bore.